Prelim 1 is over at least for now.　一个字－惨。考完的我想快乐却乐不起来，　好像说声“对不起”　not to myself but to Ms Lee and esp. Ms Tan. 现在走过她们时，觉得好内疚。Feel that I've failed them. Maths 虽然说有读但或许还不够吧，first paper come out, sad. 好多好熟悉的题目，开始是非常德开心，以为自己会做，但总是做到一半便忘了一些东西，无法继续。 Second paper 时是带着忐忑不安的心情进去的。Its an afternoon paper, so before that 是死命的在读，but everything seems to go in and come out can't seems to remember anything. 进去证明了nothing is retained in my memory. Equations that I'm revising before that can't come to mind.出来时是无奈，有点绝望的。Chem更不用说了。Well first paper is better than expected though well its still very bad lar but I've expected worst... Second paper-structured.做到一半我真的好想放弃了。In the end I think half of the paper is blank well partly also no time lar. 9 long structured questions in 1h30mins. Can't make it lar. Physics 是唯一一个还好的， 但出来对了答案后发现其实自己也有许多mistakes. =X Haiz.

但一切以过去了no point keep dwelling on it. Time to move on. For now I tell myself, from today till Wednesday I'll not think about my papers my mistakes my results. Cause I can't afford to. Competition is on Wednesday, I can't afford to be distracted. After that it will really be serious mugging.这次将不会时说说而已了！

Keep thinking that I'll further update this entry... but 这一十好几天前的事了，当时所要表达的情感也消失了，意义也不存在了。 Therefore, this entry will end here. Will be after the next entry after publishing this, to record the present.

Staying up for my second 3am match. This time is I want to see the match not like last time just happen to be awake. Daddy's oversea... have to watch the match alone haha no lar he at home watch halfway sleep already no diffrence =P. Nvm have jin, lolz.

From then to know I'll have lots of times to write or should I say type nonsense. Soon world cup will be moving on to the next phase. You'll never know when is the last time you might be seeing the team play. In every game a winner will be born and someone will have to be the loser. That's the rules, that's life. During the previous group G match, Togo vs Switz. I feel sad for Togo supporters persent. Their disappointed faces captured on telecast, my heart just go to them. Not the players but the supporters. How much they paid to go all the way to Germany and manage to grap a World Cup match ticket? (Erm if you tell me is people sponsor them one then I bwg lor lolz) And I don't think it feels good to be the minority there, and seeing your team being trashed. Everyone around you are cheering, only the small group there feel the disappointment. Just by thinking, I feel =S. Haha perhaps its me thinking too much as usual bah.

Match starting le... byez =) Hope I'll cont' seeing Korea after this match. =)

This weeek is exhausting. Mugging chionging like crazy. Told dbg that I only started studying this week the he's like "wah u chiongster ar" Haha, yup really chiongster arh. 10am+ to 7pm+(plus minus 1hr) you can find me in library burying myself with notes and books. No choice lar, people study for 4 weeks I tried to squeeze all into 1 week. Crazy lar. Hope at least can pass maths and score physics... chem mah... I let go. For now. Feels quite bad bah but even I study I can't score, focus on maths and physics first bah. After school reopen must really stay back in school library or wrl to study.

But before that must clear A division first... 5 July! After that I think life will be quite meaningless le. No CCA, no fun in life, mugging mugging and more mugging. Only comfort will be there's a group of friends out there who's mugging as well. =) What will I do if I don't have Jeslin, Qinqi, Zoe and LeJia as my mugging mates? Haha I think I'll just rot at home till the last day of the hols. Soon days to A's will become 120+ then 110+ soon it'll be only 2 digits!

=X Don't think so far arh. Concentrate on mugging clear this prelim1... then it'll be shooting and... guess all the results will be back, all the heartache bah. Then mugging will start all over again. And this time on top of it will be even more stress! Haiz. That's my life. =S

Haha watching my first 3am match this world cup. Well not because I very interested in this match (Italy vs USA), think the result should be quite expected, but cause just back from aunt house still not very sleepy.

Nothing to really blog about, just here to crap randomly. World Cup period, many of those who don't really go crazy about soccer will start watching it as well. haha I'm included. Been watching it since young with daddy but well its only leisure watching, never been crazy about it. Even till now I don't really root for any teams or go gaga over any player. However there's part of me hoping for 'black horse' to win some matches. Just feel that they played hard and some even able to be up to the standard of some better established teams, they deserved to be given more chances to perform. However many of them are up to stronger teams and never have the chance to move on. Well though I know most probably if they move on they'll also be out the next round. =X

Haha I dunno what am I crapping about. I'm never able to express myself well. =X Most of the time by the time I finish trying to bring a point across, I've lost track of what is my main argument. Hmm... must argue more for the sake of GP. =P

The need to achieve something in a div is growing bigger. I want to go further as well. However shooting in Singapore has been improving every competition, its getting harder and harder. On top of that I seems to be injured near competition period as well. 0_O Didn't know I so injury prone also haha. Going to train extremely hard, concentrate focus, do what ever thing that will enable me to excel!

Well and of course study... going all out in the last week... Unstoppable. Well I can't stop I stop I die, still a whole tons of things to catch up.

I'm here to grumble again... W TF@#$%#%^ I lost my class outings photos!!!!!!!!!! damn it. Too impatient. Can't find my usb port then decided to use my laptop cardreader though I know its faulty. That's the cause of my China hols photo kena corrupted. But I'm too impatient... wanted to take the risk. Put in can't really read the things in the card faster remove. On my camera. Heng arh still have photos. Thought that nothing is wrong. Bro found the usb cable ( all his fault lar dun find it earlier ). Connect to com. Realise the later half of the photos are gone!!!!!! and they're the nicer ones. KNS lar. Pple say once bitten twice shy. But I never seems to be able to learn my lesson. Blah. Was so angry with myself. Went to sleep right away when i actually want watch Eng vs T&T. But at least the match is quite bad from what I heard. England didn't play up to standard again. Or is it that's their best already. Doubt that they'll be able to go far this world cup.

E6 chalet - relaxing resort. We just slack around, play cards, play mahjong, play pool. Nothing to do walk around to Cheers buy snacks, legally bought some alcohol. I'm a good girl never buy lor. Haha but I 'kop' a bit from others. Haha. Its good to see them again. With them really dun need care about anything, cause everyone is talking nonsense, doing silly things. Haha. I miss their company. =) Oh yar but hurt my right arm, hopefully can recover asap I still need to train! 5 July... coming soon le my A div! I want it to be the best.

S45 class outing. Turnout was a bit disappointing. Attendance: Me and Kim, Lee Chong, WenJie, Gilbert, Enhuo, Dexter, Masthan and Aust. Haha they joked that at least better than last time bbq by 1 arh. Actually starting all see this attendance sianz half, but at the end of the day we review, actually its a successful outing. We enjoyed ourselves. Its like an xtra pe lesson. We played vball, captain's ball, frisbee, soccer, monkey, 'water polo' and etc. It's fun. And perhaps its only me and kim the only 2 girls, the guys include us in all the games. I think if like all the girls are there, they'll just don't bother about us and let us rot there ourselves. So perhaps its a blessing in diguise. But argh the photos are gone. I'm going to make sure we have another class outing by the beach so take I can retake similar photos =P haha just hope then the guys are still good sport and let me take their photos =)

Crappers outing is cancelled. Gotta concentrate on mugging first. Haiz. But this week really play alot so must really start studying le. Physics roughly roughly ok le... maths next. Chem I really think I letting go le. Haiz. Byez.

Training was tough for yesterday's and today's training, right arm aches like nobody buisness now but at the same time it feels good =) Shiok arh! haha. Endurance training and 100 shots per training resulted in this. I hope to break 350 soon though it might very easy for many pple, I'm still struggling to reach there... But look out I'll reach there soon. =)

Shooting has been going well but studying is another situation. I've tried. But all the mock tests have been proves that what I've done is not enough! I really need more time!!!!!! You know... in primary school there's been a chinese chapter which is a story about Time bank where you can bank in time and taking it out to use later. (Anyone remember? =P) That's one chapter that I remember as how I hope that its true man. Won't it be cool! Everyone meet situations when time is wasted, won't it be great that you can save it and use it for better use in f uture? Won't it be even more cool if they actually give out interest! Haha. No matter how crazy I'm, I know that its impossible. I never doubt that one day mankind will be able to go to explore other galaxies for holiday tours, and perhaps even time travelling. But I think saving time will be something that will be impossible. Your might think can time travel why can't save time, but well to me they're very diffrent thing. And I think even if really time travelling is possible, only special people will be able to acess to it. Imagine if everyone travel back to time and change history! Howeve if the time travel machine is like those that can transport you back to time but you'll be unknown to those in that era, that place, that'll be a diffrent story.

Ah I very off track le =P Haha. Too much sci-fi le. Well just jiayou ba pple =)

Just checked the ranking result of NUSIS. Quite sad arh. 34/66. I'm at the lower half =S. Caren and Nuurul are at 24 and 27 respectively. Our team are at 10th out of 21. Haha just manage to be at the 10. Haiz. But this is no good. I think that many school had sent in year 1 this time for experience, so this can't be a good guage where we might stand in the upcoming national. National... school will be more serious about who they sent. Competitors will be of higher standard, so if i screw up once again ( or should i say as usual ) most probably I'll end up at the bottom of the table. Blah.

Pistol Boys had done quite well though. They came in 6th out of 22 teams. Losing to 3 JCs only. It'll be good if they can improved and perform well on the nationals. Rifle had been a tough competition as usual. Several national team shooters around, many experience shooters since secondary school, luckily I'm not in it. Haha if not sure last de. =P I really can't shoot rifle. lolz. But then recently pistols are added to secondary school section as well. In near future pistols will be having a tough fight as well.

Training 3 days per week. =) Haha yes I'm crazy to be happy when I'm should be studying and do not have enough time, but well I can't help but smile when I think of shooting haha. I'll train hard... push on and perform my best in the upcoming national! achieving my result... achieveing my dream.

And of course at the same time mug hard. I've been totally slacking the whole of last week. But this week I'm serious. I really am. ( =?) I feel the mugging spirit (I think I feel it). Full speed ahead! ( Hopefully no accident =X)

149 days to A levels! 30 days to A division! Jiayou all J2! Jiayou Innova Shooters! We'll make it. =)

Today NUSIS ( NUS Invitational Shoot). Lane 1 Detail 2 Day1... Screw up again... worst result for competition this yr. I'm getting sick of myself screwing up shots everytime, after every competition come online and blog " I screw up once again". Its like the second last competition I'm going to participate in IJC le and yet I'm not achieving anything. Its ok if I'm improving or at least maintaining but its not! I'm performing badly for competition. Kinda demoralising, feels that its quite impossible to obtain anything in my jc shooting years.

My shots are bad, when I shoot finish my shots go back to seat, I shake my head, coach shakes her head. lolz. Then when results release she's like telling Caren "Not bad, personal best" then Nuurul "Ok lar" then me she " You nothing to say arh, can easily shoot much better" Haha. Actually I feel better knowing that cause since coach say I can be better so still have hope! =) haha.

But never mind! There's one more competition to go!!! Jiayou Jiayou Jiayou ba hong! =) Jiayou T eam Innova! And Good Luck to Pistol and Rifle guys, and also ARW(O).

Other than my depressing shots, I'll rate today as "not-bad-day". lolz. See my 2 cute juniors =P haha no lar first thing come into my mind when I see them is not cute, its why they so tall! Too long never see le. Blah. lolz. tt's Jenny AR from VJC and Eliza from TPJC ( dunno what she shoot...) Haha sub club of ZHSJ-AWC. =) Then after that went to mac for lunch with pistol girls, Faezah, Ken and Mervyn (they go support the ARW), talk lots of crap. Feels good to be talking nonsense once again. haha.

Oh well tomorrow still have chem mock test! Sure fail like siao =P what can you expect for me who didn't even study =X Blah. Feels quite bad actually cause I know Ms Tan is trying to help but I just can't seems to pass my chem. Same goes for maths. Ms Lee is a good 'cher but I'm a bad student. Feels bad to disappoint teachers lor. Haiz. Hope hong will be more discipline... Haiz Jiayou Hong!. =P

Byez.