Today, last day of July. Haiz. Started off badly, fortunately it turns abit better in the afternoon. Just hope it ended peacefully for the rest of the night. These few days when daddy come home, I'll be looking for his mood, unsure which day he'll actually learned about my sucky results. =X
I climbed out of bed today in extremely blue mood, the "don't-talk-to-me" attitude. Then reached class, realised that I'm suppose to do AJ P3 03 for physics. Worsen my mood cause I know I'll be dead for not doing the work. Then first period was already physics lect. No time to do. Even if I wanted to copy also no time. So just pray hard Mr Ang will not be checking. But well luck's not at my side, he came over to the girls, walk straight to me and ask for my paper. Told him I didn't do, get scolded, said didn't do suppose to stand up behind the lect (his punishment), explained I didn't know must do, then he walked off. I swear and promise I didn't know must do lar! I already did what I know must be done, and then I'm still scolded, what's more is that actually I'm not the only one who didn't do, me friend beside me also didn't and he didn't even ask her for her work, so its like what the! so get more piss off. But fortunately he didn't insist that I stand up. Well from a teacher's view I can understand why I'm scolded but from my view I understand but not happy lar.
At the moment I explain and told him, I felt the rebellious hong. Perhaps its the blue mood I'm in then and the fact that he's only asking for my work, I just feel the need to defend myself esp. I didn't know bout the work. Ok the point is not this but I feel the hong in sec 3 when I'm sitting right beside Mrs Lim since I'm in the first row, centre, in class. When everything I did just seems to get pick by Mrs Lim, how she screamed, scold, nightmare I tell you. The ultimate is topic 'waves' during the 1 week extra lesson in nov hols 2003. I'll never forget that. Then I promise myself I'll prevent to my best ability to let her had any chance to find fault with me. Since then, top alert during Physics lesson to counter any challenge Mrs Lim 'throw', manage to stay in the better half of the class during Mrs Lim's Killer tests. After that I occasionally still get scream by her then her 'aiyo', but other than that I'm safe. And I know she saw the change in me. The 'wave period' I hated physics lesson, I dislike Mrs Lim, even if you ask me now, I'll still say I don't really like her, too terrifying, BUT I respect her lots, I think she's one of the bestest teachers around, its ZHSS loss to let such a great teacher go. Mrs Lim Rawks! Haha.
Erm think I go abit too much into xiang dang nian again... What I hope for now is another of that feeling to prove that I can do it. Today at Physics lect, I thought I feel it, hopefully it stays. For maths and chem, it will be more on the motivation of not wanting to disappoint, and also abit of I can do better than what you all think I'm capable of. The teachers gave us somehow a prediction of our prelim 2. Well mine is bad. But I know looking at my results over the one and half years, that seems like the only results I capable of. Hopefully I can prove them wrong.
I need all this self motivation talk, self encouragement for myself. Like Mr Ang once said about me, " You need someone to push you, if not you just slack". True true, I knew it myself, just that I don't bother to do anything about it previously but right now no choice, I need to play the role of the pusher as well to push push push myself on.
I think you all sick and tired of this liao but I'm still signing off this way...
Hong Jiayou! People Hang in there. =) A's in 13 weeks, We'll survive!!!!!!
