Thursday, August 31, 2006
~ 1:31 AM ~
It's been a long time! =) 31 Aug - T'chers' Day's eve. Happy Teachers' Day! Time is moving so fast, its now 1 day to Sept, 1 week later prelim, 2 more weeks of school, 2 weeks of study break and its the war. Even now I think of it I feel the shiver down my spine.
Perhaps everyone has started to realise that 05s45 as a class is coming to an end soon, the class spirit seems to be stronger these few weeks. Impromtu class outings at causeway point for dinner, for lunch. Last Friday the dinner was great, not the food but the company. We just sit around and talk crap and crap haha. At the moment I've the I love 05s45! feelings.
I'm one who get 'warm' with people slower. I'm one who don't like to talk to 'strangers' (those I'm not so close to). I'm more afraid that I'll say something wrong that might offend them or made a bad impression of myself. I'll also think alot (hu si lun xiang), having quite a low confidence level infront of those I don't know. I'll prefer to observe while others interact. Only when I think I know them better and won't make a fool out of myself then I'll talk a bit more. But then hor, after that I'll start thinkng did I say anything wrong again. =P So its like I really take quite a long time to know that we're really friends and even I made a fool of myself it doesn't matters. Therefore every transition period I think I need a longer time to adapt compared to others. Perhaps its also due to my nostalgic character that I can't let go of the past and move forward, resulting in a longer time to finally release the past and live the present.
P6 to sec1 is the first transition that I can trully remember. A total change of environment and people. P3-P6, 4 years same friends same place, to move on from there is quite hard. At least then I've Yiping in the same class, so at least there's a familiar face. Then I joined ZHSJ due to YP's influence and get to know Crappers. All the trainings made us closer, only then I slowly adapt. Then in class there's also mazi diagonally behind me, yp infront of me, ah bu right at the front, my chair kicker behind me. I think it takes at least 6 months for me to really feel that I fit in somewhere.
Sec2-Sec3 is the easy one. Same school just that some new friends but familiar faces. Friends are just a few class away. Nothing much changes except for during lesson time. Recess, after school its still with crappers. So its a easy transition. Fitting into the class took about 4months, its easier as who and who is someone's else friend, then some we already know each other before. Lolz yar easier but I still need at least 4 months to feel at ease in class.
Then come JC... Surprisingly I'm able to fit in Fedora very easily (Anyway I meet von today! Haha didn't recognise her for a moment though.... then we walk then saw Debbie! Really didn't recognise Debbie. Its like since first 3 months she's gone never see her already! Really brings back quite alot of memories.) and thankfully for Fedora esp. von and ronghui my first 3 months was not that bad. But adapting to 1s14 is hard. I won't be surprise if someone tell me now that I'm suffering from mild depression then. The culture is really very diffrent, from zhss, from pyps. The class is very diverse, there's quite a number of non-chinese, so the 'universal' language is English and I'm not use to conversing in it lar. That makes me quieter. During that period of time I often write my feelings and thoughts down in lectures and tutorials. A bit like those gu pi and zi bi one lar. =P But as said fortunately there's von, rh, jas. =)
Ending of first 3 months when I slowly trying to get use... everything change once again. Alot of things happen. The Mr Ang 'incident' that result in unhappiness among some. Only 6 girls are left, a whole group of new classmates, from 1s14 we become 05s45. 6 girls only of coures we stick. I think if the class is like first 3 months, I won't be able to know Elaine, Karimah that well, cause we somehow quite diffrent in views, and ways we do things. I don't agree with them for quite alot of things but through this 1 and a half years, I realise it doesn't matters. We can be great friends with diffrent views and values, caring for each other, looking out for each other, sticking together, we'll become great friends! Eventually now we have Elaine Mummy =) Aunty Karimah, Spoilt Brat (Bread), Childish kid ( my fellow pw mate =) my dou zui partner, the gal who I can crap in chinese with coz out of the 6 of us 3 are chi 3 are non chi then out of us 3 kim is strong in eng not good in chi so yar...) , then of course there's Maow! ( my 'sleeping' partner haha sounds so wrong don't think slanted lar. We're the 2 who always sleep in lessons =X lolz ) This transition is tough... I took more than 1 year to feel that at ease, and only recently to feel that this is where I can belong. And then... everything is ending soon. Haiz. " shi jian bu deng ren" arh...
I still want to write about my 'chers but late late le its 3 am now! and I'm suppose to reach sch a bit earlier tomorrow! So tomorrow bah... nitez.. ZZZZZZZZZZ
