Monday, November 27, 2006
~ 12:19 AM ~
Today have been a nice day till 2hrs ago bah. Today is one of the major occassions of my family. Hard to explain but to cut it short its a family gathering... Had fun. =) Ah ma house is near chaos with the 6 brats. My 3 cousins and 3 neices and nephew. Looking at them, it reminds me of me and my 2 cousins and my bro. We're at the same age so we grow up together. Once we're so close... very. But now me and my cousins had grown apart. So much so that sometimes I feel that we're somehow like strangers. Sad to think about it. But well I'm glad and happy that I've such a big close knitted family.
However about 2hr ago... suddenly I felt that everyhing seems to go all wrong. Tomorrow class chalet. 1st night bbq night. And I... haiz forget to inform the teachers. Oh great! Well we did inform mr ang when I booked the chalet... he said he will inform the other teachers... But that's so long ago... and knowing mr ang he most prob forgotten about it... And I only realise that we have not officially inform the other teachers about 1 hr ago. Its so late the teachers will only be inform tomorrow... and with 1 day notice I doubt they can make it and it just shows our insincerity. Oh well. Totally hate my forgetfulness and carelessness. To me, its a failure on my part. The teachers might or might not come back inviting them early is a show of respect and a sign of appreciation we have for them. This might be the last time the class get togethers and maybe the teachers presence (if we invited them early). To me, its my responsibility and any failure on my part I can't escape my own critical opinions. Haha. Remind me of a personality quiz I did... very very true... I'm a very critical person. Who not only have opinions with others but also even harsher views on myself. Perhaps that's why I'm so unhappy sometimes.
Oh yar this is not the only thing that 'made my night'. When I'm already sad sad sad about not informing teachers, I recieved the info that me and jes are separated for topo. Jes will be going for ubin, I'll be in mainland. Argh. Actually it should be ok but this time round the circumstances are very diffrent. 1st thing... I agreed to go for topo becoz of jes. I persuaded my mom to allow me to go coz its actually my close relative's wedding that I'm suppose to be there. But coz of jes... Then now... haiz... who knows maybe all of a sudden mom insist that I go for the wedding... Haha then wad sia? Somemore topo recee afternoon on 2 dec. Actually is morning coz I hope that at least it will end by early afternoon... Heard from here and there that M45 having outing on 2 dec. Well though I'm not officially told... maybe its just a private outing that I'm not 'involve' but well... I still hope to keep it free on 2 dec just in case there's really an outing... and i'll like to go... M45 peeps is the group of pple whom I spent one of my best memories in this 2 yrs with. I hope to stay in touch... But oh well...
Everything seems so sucky. Actually typing these things I feel so lolz. Childish... So silly. But yet I'm sad over these minor things. Guess its really in me can't help it to think too much. There's always too much what if in my mind... Too bothered about what others will think. I wonder... will there ever come a day I'm no longer bothered about others and live my life just as I like. I doubt so. I'm too easily affected. But this entry last entry I've realised that I've been writing more about my feelings... with more ease... perhaps this is the first step....
