Hi pple... my eyes gonna close le... but I still want to stay online! Morning before work and Evening till night after work are the time I hated my work the most. Haha got curve one.

Morning wake up... I felt that I'm torturing abusing myself to go to work. Depriving myself of my sleep! In a very very easy irritated mood. Till I reach the work place then quite ok le...

Start typing statement that's when the curve suddenly disappear... coz then is no mood de! I'm in lala land. Haha. Just like I'm back to school. Then after I finish that part of statement sure got lots of mistake then when I go back to find I'll wake up again =) Then its lunch! I like lunch not so much coz of food but coz I can get into the sun! Its freezing cold lar. Especially today I forget my sweater! I'm so amazed that I survive and didn't die of hyper or hypo? thermia. lolz. But I think if I nv bring my waterbottle I sure dunno how to make it le... coz one of my ultimate way of keeping not so cold is by filling up my bottle with Hot water then put it beside my hand to keep it warm lolz.

After lunch my mood go up coz the work quite relaxing le. Just slack around and each work not too long till I'll fall asleep. So that's when I'll think that "well actually this work not so bad lar. Easy $ actually"

Then when I left workplace I'll start hating again. You must think I weird lor off from work still so grumpy haha. Coz by the time I left its 6plus by the time I reach whereever I wanna go its mostly 7+ le. There's so much things I want to do but I'm left with so little time... So I start hating the job again. -_-

ya... that's the curve go plot the point bah... =P

Well for a temp job its not so bad bah. But I really can't see how people could actually do office job for life if my job currently is a reflection of it. But well perhaps many jobs are like these just that I've not experieced them. But currenlty I felt that I've no life... =S Oh ya and I feel that working I using more $ than I go out sia =S haha but well... at least work can 'replenish' the money use lar. And I can totally understand why office job is 'fattening' eat sit sleep (erm sleep is for me only lar =P ) No exercise at all... then sitting down there mind start wondering and I feel as if I'm growing every min. lolz.

I believe by now jeslin must be thinking " Hong Jin you tired already right go sleep go sleep" haha. Crappy and yes I'm very tired now. =X After the last few days sleeping at 2am and woke up at 6+am. Will die lor.... bb wanna sleep le...

Yesterday turn out to be a great day. Think on fri I'm just too caught up with things and started to get emo... =S Haiz only thing I hope on yesterday was to have more time. Lolz. Chiong through my 3 prog. leaving each with some regrets that I can't spend more time. Good times always seems to pass by fast. Before going into the long long details... Thanks S45 esp Wenjie and Mast for the piglet... Darl Candy and Qinqi for the top.... =)

S45 discuss to meet at 9am. Everyone was late as usual... except for Kim! lolz. Met at 10++ instead. Decided to just stay in cwp to settle the gifts instead. Bought a Hello Kitty tissue box for Aze and a nice photo frame+album for ang.... Met up with Wenjie and Mas to buy cake. Ya... giving out of gifts and thankz peeps for the piglet haha after the discussion I like pooh or tigger they've bought piglet... But it doesn't matter... coz I'll still like it =) Then out came the cake coz Azelia had to rush off... Lolz 6 Jan+Feb babies including Ang. But he's too busy hosting so he's unable to be there... and that Dex late so not there as well... So left 4 of us. 1 candle each... Sang 'Happy Bday' 4 times... lolz. Then come the challenge of blowing on candle at each time. Haha only Wenjie failed =P. Cut and eat the cake... Left 2 slice... 1 for ang and dex. Settle dex's part we went to find ang at the grandstand with the cake and the photo frame... Only to find out he's not there. blah. Haha set off all the way to Staff room. Tour school arh... all the memories. Anyway he came out thinking we're there to get the ticket for him so he's kinda surprise seeing the cake. =) Then... as usual someone has to pass by.... and that is .... Ms Nathan lar.... lolz then just happen we got one extra big piece of cake that we actually wanted to throw away le but well since she's there we pass to her =X Aiz... Ms Nathan won't watse food de... =X She went in the staff room then appear with a whole stack of tickets sia... Haha really got a lot of '$' to be used that day... Didn't manage to finish it so pass it to Mr Ang class so their profits will be higher... lolz abit cheating hor =P But well... they're somehow our direct juniors... so must guan zao abit lar=)
Left ij at about 5pm. Oh ya forget mention that I played the push mug game... got a small prize. Lolz a second hand soft toy.... aiz lolz nvm lar. For fun only =P

Hmm... I also have some suspicions that... there's a couple in the class... hmm... If really gonna grill them why nv tell me! 2 of my closer friend in class.... =P for me to find out more bah but my this type of feelings quite accurate de... lolz. See how lor.

Reached ZHSS @ 6+pm. Thought got food le! but hor... they even haven set up the pits lor... -_- And only candy there aiz for our batch lar. Darl and bull not there yet. Stone around. They reach awhile later with the food. =) Uncooked though =X Haha. Set pits etc. Then they have the bday celebration for Jan to Feb babies. Hmm... I think the cake is Candy and Calvin go buy de bah... Coz a period of time they went missing then I ask Qinqi and Jes where they... they all dunno... But I didn't go to the amphi for the thing coz need pple to tend the pit... Only when there after the candles are blown... The later get to know the cake they bought partly for me then I didn't go... =X Felt a bit bad... But Thanks lots... I greatly appreciate the thought... =) I've managed to take a photo with the tiramisu and witnessed the cake cutting ceremony though =P Then the BBQ officially started! Food! Nice food =) Quoted from Calvin ' Up' lolz then even Jes' finger... the middle one somemore... also up! long story... =P

Left at 8.30pm Just before I leave I'm being berhanti-ed and 'room' haha they passed me my prezzie... which is... the top that Jes said she buy when we go watch Superstar. Even till they pass me the present I didn't realise they've went through planning to buy it... I'm thinking maybe when Candy and Jes meet to ' take taxi' Then go walk around and buy de... Until today Jes told me the story....

They already plan to meet and buy before superstar le... So when I ask Jes whether want meet in the afternoon she told me she going out... I asked who she 'er....' So I assumed is Zhizhi and she just go with my assumtion. -_- then that Candy... told me she's going to buy things so when I ask her want meet she say ask Jes. Then when I ask Jes want dinner she say Orchard area... Being lazy I choose to meet in Kallang. So I call back Candy and tell her... she goes 'anything'.... So meeting in Kallang... Zoe is there early... I'm late abit and the rest are even later. I call Jes she say she still buying things. Call Candy she also still buying things... Then call Qinqi she said she still in Club and will be going down herself. When we met up they say they meet up to take taxi together. Sounds convincing to me... Until today met up with Jes for Carrot Cake=) then she tell me the story.... They actually all met up in the afternoon.... then in the evening when I start calling every of them to ask 'where are they and will they be reaching?' They're actually all together... (watse my phone bills! =P haha) Then to act as if they're at diffrent places they run to somewhere else to get various background music... while the other 2 stand beside and laugh... lolz When Jes telling me I can just imagine the scene lor. Silly me still keep calling them! Lolz This shows that their acting skills good lor. =P I didn't even suspect anything. Haha. Thanks guys for the effort =)

These small little things really made me felt blessed. It doesn't matters that life sux now and then... These happiness can overwrite them after that. People must stay in touch k.... =)

Nitez must sleep le... its 1.24am 12/2/2007 right now.... no longer 18... Hong's 19 le.... and after that I won't see 1 infront of my age anymore! haha unless I reached the ripe age of 100 and after... woot. lolz Tomorrow still must work... Haiz. =P

Today start off with a good day of work. Went of meeting left feeling not bad. Day ending off now with me feeling damn pissed.

Good day at the start coz constantly got work to do... actually I've not finish what I'm suppose to learn from emily. The 2 poly attachment last day today luckily ms qinqi once a secretary always a secretary took down good notes the other time... so emily just rush through main things then call me look at qinqi's notes lolz.

Rush down to meeting. Hope for a quick meeting to end by latest latest 9pm. But with such a big group - training and welfare yr3 yr4 wah the back of mac seems filled with zhsj. Noisy lor! Oh ya not forgetting ma'am xj ben and cal also having their own meeting... I talk halfway suddenly got people shout here and there. -_-" The progress damn slow lor. in the end ended at 9.20pm. Talk and settle somemore stuff left mac at 9.30.

By the time I flied to Causeway point its 10pm. And shops in Singapore close so irritating early! And its a Fri lor! And tml sat they only open at 1030. Blah. Then people suddenly tell me crappy stuff like they have to leave very early... they going later. In the end I even just tell one "I pissed off bye" reached my limit le. Why can't people just put in some effort for gatherings?!
Its not as if its everyday... Perhaps these things no longer matter to modern pple... perhaps I'm still living in my own days.

And to make things 'better' My mom told me tomorrow they're going to celebrate my ah ma's bday. Oh great. 10 Feb is wad ji shi liang ri mah.... Then my CNY BBQ HOW?! They my FAMILY HOW?! Blah how to choose?!

Plan now? 9-4 Class (running out halfway to buy presents)
4-7.30 SJ
7.30- Family

see how things go.... I just hope tomorrow will not from a looking forward day to a f-up day...

Had my official first day alone at job today. Late... coz i get lost in the building. Lolz i even get into the wrong office. People looked at me weirdly I faster went out. Haha. I really pro lor. Coz its on the 8th floor which i'm not very sure then... then I went up look around then feel that its actually the 7... so go down. On the 7th floor just happen someone open the door... I see the interior look like the one I went to on Fri. So I quickly tag along behind... My guide to my seat is the pantry teamwork poster then the wrong office also have that lor! So I thought correct liao... I walk down the lane but didn't see my place! panic! and ran out lolz. Went out and call veron she told me 8 floor... so I go up then find a door. Tried tapping my card cannot open the door lor -_- lucky someone come along again and I tag in again. Haha this time walked down the pantry lane and found the place... =) Haha think only bull bull know wad I talking about. I really no direction sense =X oh I forgot to mention I went to the wrong building as well... =S

type type type... halfway through the indo long statement.. I want to sleep le.... haha lack of sleep lor! Went to watch superstart live @ indoor stadium with darl bull candy and zoe. Haha I didn't even watch a full episode of these season before lor... but not bad lar... only that darl darl so blur thought wallet lost =P haha but every of us also very blur... took the wrong bus and get lost... lolz. So walk walk walk going for night hike and up at Geylang of all places -_- Fortunately manage to find a busstop with familiar bus. Zoe took cab back... We then proceed to serangoon haha and end up eating mac. took taxi... reach home at 1 plus slept at 2 plus.... hmm... back to work lolz...

So stoning while typing luckily lunchtime saved me. =) After lunch cont' typing which was finish quite fast. Then nothing for me to do! Wah then really is STONE! Then I still want to act busy though everyone also know I nothing to do but they're all too busy to bother about me -_- messaging pple to entertain me and keep me awake. lolz. At about 3 there's new statement for me to type I so happy lor! lolz. Got work to do really is much better! Lolz. When stoning I felt that I'm back to school lor.... stare at pple then slowly slowly my eyelids dropped. Writing some crap to pass time suddenly my hand got a mind of its own drawing things that only very artistic people can understand. lolz.

By the time I took mrt get a seat... totally knockout le... slept all the way till home lolz. Nitez gotta sleep le...

yo... its 4 days into Feb. CNY coming... though its kinda late compared to usual... haha more time for me to clear my room =P Vday's even before CNY this yr... well not as if it matters much to me =X then there's Innova's Funfair on the 10 Feb. Wanna meet up with S45! its been such a long time. and of coz there's 12 Feb... hiak hiak. lolz.

But this year Feb also means another thing... results might be coming out soon... Heard from bro, O lvl result on Friday 9 Feb. Supposingly if our results are 2 week after that it'll be on the 23 feb. And if its on the 3 week.. thankfully feb only got 28 days so if its on the 3rd week it will be march le... but... its still scary lor =X

Lazy to type le. bb

Smilez! =)

I'm so amaze by myself. Actually I felt horrible. I felt like my world had collapsed. Yet I can smile I can joke. I still can chat to others online as if I'm the happiest person on earth. What's more is that I'm even able to convince myself actually things are not that bad then I'll throw it to the back of my mind and continue living... But deep in my heart I still know the truth...

Tears no longer flow. I want to cry also have to force it out. Someone said "Tears are the safety vale of the heart" My safety vale had spoilt. No more safety vale, I never know when I'll broke down and go crazy as well.

Forgive me if you caught my mind wandering off, don't blame me if I talk as if I don't really care. Its just that I'm too affected by somethings and I could no longer act anymore for that day and need to replenish my energy again.
Bless me.

Smile! You're on candid camera! =D

Tomorrow start work le! erm hope everything will be alright and not too boring bah =P So many pple do admin job all quitting lolz. Erm I just starting shouldn't think about quitting so fast lar =X haha. No more free weekdays but $$! =) lalala at least there's bull bull there to show me the rope tomorrow haha.

Just now went for my first zone com. meeting. Haha free transport back by Ma'am Meijuan today. Point to take note? Tag along Ma'am Xuan Ting... lolz coz she'll find lobang to longbang us back haha. Pros of staying in khatib! =)

Life's good but there's still troubles that I have to overcome. No one can help. Its hard yet there's nothing much for me to do, walk one step see one step lor. I just hope things won't stay at this situation. Hope it improve soon. Though I doubt neither of us will take the first step. The issue is just too serious. Its a taboo. Blah wadever. I'll just cont' to carry the burden... with runaway thoughts now and then.

Need to sleep early starting from today le... no more late mornings... sob sob. Grumble grumble but in fact I felt quite happy to have a job! haha. Nitez! =)