Right now I'm still doing my 300 essay for ntu. =S Can imagine people screaming in the background "Hong! You still have not submit?!" Haiz. Very hard leh the essay. Call me to write bout M45, my feeling for it in 300 words.... aiz challenging.
Oh and last entry halfway done decided to sleep... tt day went back to innova collect cert.. Innova say small also not that small, but I actually met ms lee at the office. Guess its fated. I tried to avoid her after I get my result. Even though she's just standing being Mr Ang when he passed me the cert, I didn't look up. The guilt I felt towards her is a lot. I felt I totally let her down coz if you ask me which subject I felt that I've not put in enough effort it will be maths I think.
For physics I felt that I've done what I can, result is damn disappointing I know I can do much better but I've tried what I can during that period of time. If I need to feel that I've let someone down for physics it won't be mr ang, it'll be myself. I 'suffered' so much under Mrs Lim, ace it in O level yet I didn't do justice for myself in JC. I hate myself for it. And perhaps sorry to Mrs Lim that I forget the teaching, the spirit she gave me for physics.
For Chem... I sux at it since sec 3. Come to JC my chem suffered badly. Don't understand lots of things. But at least during the last few months I pia and pia... The grade I get I know that's about what's my standard. At least I've tried and approach Ms Tan during the break...
For Maths... I love maths in primary school love it. Enjoy it in lower sec. Eventually hating it in upper sec till I get my private tutor then I start understanding and things get better. Teacher and teaching methods played an important part. JC.... Ms lee is a strict maths teacher but slowly she showed her concern and such. And her teaching is great. This time round the fault lies in me. Slack only try working hard during exams. Insufficient pract leading to mental blocks during exams. Often see the disapointment and corncern in Ms Lee whenever I fail horribly. She told me to look for her during study break. I wanted to really. But I don't know why I never set any time with her. Think the main reason I felt so sorry is coz I never tried to improve during the last few weeks though ms lee is there to help me. Especially when I'm consulting Ms Tan and Ms lee walk pass =X Feel damn guilty. Haiz.
This time round, went back to school and saw her, most prob the last time I'll see her in Innova since she's leaving soon... (another reason I felt sorry is that I'm most prob 1 of those student she tried so hard to teach yet see no result and decided to leave...) She pause for a moment when I called "Ms Lee"... thought she dunno who I am le. =X Lucky she still go" Ai Hong Jin what you doing here" Then coz its going to rain, she call me faster go. I replied "ya...Thanks" After that I keep thinking... why I said thanks? don't really fit the context. Thanks for the concern? Or thanks for everything in the 2 yrs? I think both bah.
Haha... never thought I'm going to do an evaluation on my results, but 1 visit to the school cause me to evaluate so much. Haiz looking forward... pray hard that I'm call up for interview bah... =) and still first thing I must submit for the uni first... now only done and completed NUS de lor =X haiz...
