I woke up feeling that I've ran a marathon. Left feet aches. right leg chui from top to bottom... haix.

Finally DONE!!!! haha. nitez. =)

lol this is so silly talking to myself haha. I think years later hong then will think that hong at this time is weird haha.

headache. guess i'll be in coma haha.

haha i'm going crazy. i think it might be again. lol. wadever will be will be. don't be silly and keep go think le lar.

talking to zoe girl late night while doing proj is quite a good support. simple talks... dun need think too much bout everything. relac... nice. haha.

i still need bout 50 words. argh.

i think next few days i'll just minimise all movements. My right knee think overwork le... now its warm... and hurts. just now when walking down stairs every step wobble =X fortunately nv roll lol.

haix. nvm.
Everything will be good again soon right... Bless me? please?

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need to do a damn 200 words reflection... can someone tell me wad the hell to write!!! i stare at the screen and the screen stare back at me. damn.

wth. its really not. but its no longer bothering me like few days ago... just really makes me wonder who is it... hmm.

i hope for something good tonight. but hmm... well. the greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment. if only i can be not bothered by things. haix. my right knee hurts. damn.

proj again. haix send in before i sleep.
new yr will be over tml. 1 more festival down... i'm counting down to the end of this year.

I went to the bathroom and scare myself when i look into the mirror =S lol.

nono I'm NOT SCARY! lol. just that the reflection staring back at me looks so pale.
i took a second glance to ensure my eyes are not playing trick with me.. lol.

Effect of not getting out these days? Or issit the fact that tonight is another sleepless night?

sleepless night... and continue with proj meeting early in the morning... hopefully everything ends early... wonder if i've the strength to drag myself down to zhss if things ended early... haix.

am i really tt pale?! *shudders*

haix. tonight is those nights when dunno wad the hell is going on.. when my mind runs...
some little quotes..

worrying is like a rocking chair. it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere.

true friends are those who know you inside out and accept you for who you are. they know things about you that even you don't know, and show them to you. they are the ones who mould you to be who you are. they are the ones who keep you sane in this crazy world. they are the family that god give you the chance to choose.

do my best and god will do the rest.
haha.

ARGH! actually i'm seriously damn irritated!
the fact that i'll be doing proj doesn't help if this situation cont tml.
idiot. or perhaps coz i'm assuming things... i'm making an ass out of u and me. RAR!

hmm... i sense somethings brewing... bubbling... in fact more and more things building up...
waiting for things to happen...

maybe its just my 6th sense working overtime or maybe it might be the stress making me crazy ya :P
ya just hope everything will just be alright. =)

i'm still wondering who the hell is tt... argh. dunno when will i have the chance to tryout... haix

aiyo dunno wad's up or wad's wrong these day... hopefully its just studies stress ya.
nono... its not about me. haha.

other than affected by myself... there's only a few others who will makes me erm.... gek sim? lol. erm.. to be gek sim at that level not many lar. lol.

tired tired.. another assignment down and more to come argh.
Finally meet up with uncle edmund. suppose to be a NDP outing though turnout not tt good... nevertheless we crapped and enjoyed ourselves.. =D

sleep while i can... nitez!

ARGH!!!! omg. I just realised that I might be wrong all the while about something... damn. this is irritating me...

i'm one who comes to rely on things quite easily... and when its gone or absent, i'll just feel uneasy... till I get use to it again...

lol during cny after my watch snap, I still keep bringing my hand up to look at it out of habit.
water bottle, phone are somethings that I must have around too.
oh ya pendent too.

people as well... my reliance on my friends...
friends are always a great support in my life... and even more so these few years. if you remove some of my dear ones, I think I'll be lost.
hmm..

lol these days i rely on morning calls routine...  today when i woke up, i thought what was missing lol.

Everything is good in moderation... excess reliance is bad.. now and then must remind oneself to be independent... to be resilience when things are not around, when changes occurs.  

Argh back to work. lol

haix. my bad again?!
no time no strength for it now.
essay essay essay. haix.

the sky is bright...
only now am i going to turn off the lights.
haha rhyme ya =P.
tml is going to be another long night.
Please bless me with all you might.
Haha. the lack of sleep makes me cranky.
Nitez!

haix... i noe...
pple nag is for our own good.
when one nags, it shows that they still care.
its when the nagging stop, then its time to be worried.
haha how i'll miss it and feel weird if there's no nagging ba... lol.
yes i'm glad that I've friends who constantly nag at me... and i do my own part of nagging to them too.. lol.

but sometimes... its just...haix. not the right time? makes bad times seems worse.
sometimes it hurts..but knowing the good in it.. just smile and nod ya.
i guess sometimes i nag at the wrong things... at the the wrong times too bah. hmm..

I wonder issit some new psychological prob tt I'm having tt causes me to feel giddy/ headache, stomache/quesy feeling in the stomach whenever I'm starting my essay.... or I'm actually really falling sick le =X

might be the effect of all the cny goodies... =S
I seriously hate this sem man... ARGH

yesterday... ai the day before yest. (Sat lar), I handed up the most horrendous piece of work I think I've ever done... erm in uni lar. lol. I'll need a prayer for it ya.
The feeling of handing it up comes with no relief.. instead it comes with lots of worries and stuff... bad bad.

Before I can breathe again... there's another hurdle ahead.. 24th Feb another 2000 words essay. Shucks another mental block... dunno how am I going to conquer it as well...

And right behind it is another 2000 words essay on 5th Mar! damn. oops. haha I've been damn-ing alot these few days =X bad bad. haix.

well well.. just be glad that I'm not the only one being ARGH by all school? but haix.. most of the time we'll just feel that wad we're going through are the worst bah.. unless the other person is seriously much worse off lol.

Have faith ya. lol . like my last post, when I thought that its going to be a tough night alone, god showed me that I'm not struggling alone.. I'm not yet abandoned. lol. but in the end I still end up losing to sleep. haiz really bad that I can't stay up late these days =X.

Give me the strength to safely survive this sem man. Bless me.
(guilty that I've not done wad I'm suppose to do... but no time! >.< I'll give it back when all is done...)

ARGH! dunno wad the hell i doing...
can't i just type the words out... damn.

need some one to push and pull me through. but they seldom appear at a time like this...
Every time I'm doing last min work... I'll tell myself, "I'll not do it again." but every time I forget the next time. damn.

Headache. can't stay up late these days... how I just want to tumble to bed... argh.

mind's blank. can't think. how I just want to slam the laptop and go out for a run.. I wanna RUN! hate it.

I seriously Hate doing last min assignment but i never get out of this bad bad habit. Damn.

omg omg omg. i really dunno how am i going to complete my 2 essays on 20th and 24th respectively.

if i can just make a wish or just pray and god can finish them for me, how good will it be! haha. dream on. coz god will only help those who helped themselves ya.

i think i'll be making lots of random post these days once again.. when i start getting stress.. when late at night no one seems to be awake.. I'll self entertain =X haha.

Jiayou Jiayou Jiayou!

well well... Its CNY!
but u noe.. just like new yr, bday... things seems same same but different.
its a different atmosphere though most things seems to be the same. the feel is just not right..
was already home by 10pm. I can't remember which CNY 初一 i'm back home so early.

Perhaps its my leg... don't really feel the mood...
Perhaps 2010 is just not my year...
my watch strap snap. yup.. the one that the uob perms get for me.. Rar! bad omen again? haiz
and then there's the horror of project due on 20 and 24th... argh!

need lots of blessing...

I've been wishing and hoping these few days... but its been a long time since i pray..
coz i've not done my promise yet. am guilty to pray.
but these days things are really getting bad... i fell once again today.. not sure if i made the injury worse of not..
I keep having the feeling that I'll end up in hospital soon..
2010 has been not so good... haiz.
Best thing that had happen till now will be the master reset on 250110?

I can't really hold on by my own for long... i need the strength and help to pull me through...
I bend my head, put my 2 hands together.. and prayed.
May I be blessed... Thank you God.

With all the birthday wishes.. In fact I felt very sucky.. Right now at the sinseh place for my leg again... Its going to cost me another sum of money..
Perhaps I should just went to the hospital... Put on a cast for a 1 time payment.. Lol though I also dunno how much it cost..

Right now I seriously just hope that it heals well and doesn't come with other complications.... Haix. My poor right leg.. Gotta do the job for the left leg these days.. Haha..

Such an irony for a happy birthday..

will today be a good day...?

yes. sometimes i'm greedy..
sometimes i just pray and hope for a little bit more...
and lol. i seriously think that I think too much...
trust and believe ya...
older by 1 year... must be good hong. =l yup. =)

Everything is still tumbling downhill...
nothing has been good, nothing going smooth. haiz.

Getting sick and tired of hopping around, rolling around and can't walk properly.
and its going to only fully recover in 3 weeks time... wth.
Can i just exchange it with a good functioning leg immediately???!
haiz. nw i understand why they always say... if have to sit in a wheelchair for life, must as well die. lol.
now i salute those handicap.

last week was thinking this week can clear my room. 人算不如天算... now my room is in a big huge mess.
wad CNY is this man... previously it being near to 1202 makes it one that I look forward with continuous happiness... now in my state... it being near to 1202 makes it sux even more...

I just hope for a happy 1202, a happy CNY.

wth is freaking wrong! damn.

everything is going downhill since the sat... was still looking to the week previously... Fri, Sat, then CNY...
but now its ARGH!.
just stay at home and sleep! haha i say only... i'll end up... haha. emo yes I'll be emo emo if i end up home... lol. haix.

Well well... Still having a pig leg right now... and this Karma is seriously BAD. lol.
oh but well ecp I didn't break my leg lar haha. still managed to walk a lot after tt... =X

Went to the Sinseh in Yishun which specialist in bones, sprains etc. He said that the ankle was misaligned and had to be pulled back into position... OMG! damn Pain! another one who suspected a crack and gave me a letter to take an xray to see how serious it is..

Lol I had an xray of my left elbow, and going to have another for my left ankle... =X
well at least I know that the pain i felt is not only due to sprain.. pain tolerance still high ya haha.

Bad bad karma please leave me soon...

060210 is hong's damn suay day.. Haix since wake up nothing been going well..
The only good thing should be the great ppl around...
Sprained my left ankle.. And ya it swell immediately like an elephant leg.. I nv ever thought sprain can be so freaking pain. Nv noe it can swell so big..
Seriously just hope its only a sprain and nothing more.. Papa scare me with his serious look and deduction.. Did some research only and.. Mine fits more of a.. Frac.. Nono! Haix pray hard ar..
Tml still must go ecp.. Truthfully I really doubt bout how am I going to walk... Its already quite torturous in zhss.. But how to say no? I dunno... It feels like I'm going there to break my leg...
Bad feeling... Bless me pls.

Freaking piss bout lots of things...
mostly directed at myself... for forgetting bout so many things... for overlooking them... for not guiding them enough. argh.
disappointed how i thought they're on the way of able to handle things on their own but still can't...
haiz.
I think I'm more freaking worried than them lar! haiz.
Cold hot cold hot. Damn it.. fever symptoms... been drinking lots of water and hope it will be alright tml...
Horrible day today.

Argh! Irritable day.. Useless lesson.. A bimbo around me. And then the unresponsiveness... Rar!

Oh well, now even more crap.. Don't care la.. Also dunno y keep go find things for myself....
A 'good-turn-Horrible' day.

shucks... i dunno where is the sudden gust of emoness coming from...
every few days, few weeks, I gotta remind myself to have faith, to trust and believe..
will a day come when i no longer be able to stay strong..?

the time of the month not yet lor =X haha.
be good hong.

为何像是一切都ok, yet at the same time everything seems to sux?

issit me? 是不是有了一, 就想要有二? 是我贪心了吗?

maybe... i need to find the peace once more.