Under the moon and stars

Sunday, August 29, 2010

~ 10:53 PM ~

back home...
lol finally managed to make the post last night/ this morning before leaving..

being back home and being away the last few days didn't really make much diff. other than the fact that i'm on a foreign land.
didn't get the much needed 'refreshment'.. still shag physically and psychologically..
and the next round of assignments, tests and soon exams are coming.. haiz.
dunno when's the next time i run away again.. and even more dunno when's the next time i'll be 'refresh'

tired tired.. sleep tonight.. and after tml the battle for school starts again..
well its still better than candy's tml though.. aunty 开工快乐! :)

i really wonder.. am i the only one..

~ 3:10 AM ~

0100h 270810 lights off.. Preparing to sleep..

One day passed just like this..
Much uneventful one..
Somethings just allow me to compare.. Haix.
swyabm..

Tml will be a better day.. I hope.
----------

Time check 2: 0240 280810
A tiring 2nd day.. Theme park. All the rides and stuff.. And it brings back memories of the last time.. I smiled..

It really doesn't matter if you've a big group with you or not.. Its who's around who made the difference..

Will be trying to use the lobby wifi to post this later in the morning Haha.

Nitez.
Practice indeed makes perfect..
----------

Time: 0230h Date: 290810

Last day..

The previous time I 'ran away', the last night we didn't wanted to return to reality and hope that the dream will last..

This time round.. Its not a successful runaway.. Didn't feel tt I've achieve much.. Failed.

Back in hotel.. When alone, packing my stuff.. Took out something from my wallet.. Haha.. Idiotic me..

Actually thought tt something will occur also didn't occur.. Perhaps I think too much.. Us didn't meant so much..

Lol late already.. Going nonsensical..
Let's see if I can post this successfully before heading back.. Haha..

Thursday, August 26, 2010

~ 1:04 AM ~

歌曲：祝你一路顺风
歌手：吴奇隆
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUoHVkbIRtk)

那一天知道你要走
我们一句话也没有说
当午夜的钟声敲痛离别的心门
却打不开我深深的沈默

那一天送你送到最后
我们一句话也没有留
当拥挤的月台挤痛送别的人们
却挤不掉我深深的离愁

我知道你有千言你有万语却不肯说出口
你知道我好担心我好难过却不敢说出口

当你背上行囊卸下那份荣耀
我只能让眼泪留在心底
面带着微微笑用力的挥挥手
祝你一路顺风

当你踏上月台从此一个人走
我只能深深的祝福你
深深的祝福你最亲爱的朋友
祝你一路顺风

那一天送你送到最后
我们一句话也没有留
当拥挤的月台挤痛送别的人们
却挤不掉我深深的离愁

我知道你有千言你有万语却不肯说出口
你知道我好担心我好难过却不敢说出口

当你背上行囊卸下那份荣耀
我只能让眼泪留在心底
面带着微微笑用力的挥挥手
祝你一路顺风

当你踏上月台从此一个人走
我只能深深的祝福你
深深的祝福你最亲爱的朋友
祝你一路顺风

a very old school song..
which i always thought it will make a good funeral song haha. :P
they've always said what they want in their funeral.. and i do remember them all.. though i doubt i'll be there to help them oversee haha... most prob waiting for them instead lol.
indecisive me never know what i want except i'll like this song to be played bah lol.
just remember this k.. haha the rest, you all just incorporate part of it from yours and yours and combine it lar. Cook a big big pot of chicken curry though.. enough for all to eat lol.

hahaha this is a random random post.

"我知道你有千言你有万语却不肯说出口
你知道我好担心我好难过却不敢说出口"
不敢说，事情发生后总是后悔。总是想，当初勇敢地说了，一切是否会不一样。
一次的经验，却还没学会，又让自己的胆怯再次胜出，还是不敢说出口。
总以为信任与相信就能让一切ok, 总以为只要祈求和坚强就能度过一切。
其实，当着没事，就是最大的事... 或许一辈子再也没机会说了...

很久没说了.. be sasath.. to all.. to myself too.

~ 12:23 AM ~

things are still not running smooth.. haix.
oh today i realise a good thing about the end of assignments for now.. Can watch YOG in peace! haha.
during the hell week, kept wanting to watch the yog.. but whenever i watch a match or two, felt so guilty =X haha. today finally can watch without the guilt. but well.. yog's ending tml.

hmm.. mummy bought back a 'monkey' bag from Japan tt time.. told me to bring it for the hk trip..
the monkey tt meant something.. not to me. but cos its interlinked, it reminds me of things..
haha well.. its not really a monkey lar.. gorilla more like it. haha.

让一切 ok 吧!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

~ 1:20 AM ~

the last 1 week plus had been horrible.. finally all the deadline are over.. and i'm truly dead. lots of things hanging.. lots of unknown.. not sure if can be push through for this again.. everything just went wrong.. haiz.

end of all these deadline.. hope to indulge in the relief of all that stuff.. but none came.. instead its replaced with emptiness.. the normal joy after all the assignments can't be found.

these few days.. was a hermit.. home, school to hand in assignment, home. only pple i talk to are bro, mum, dad. only comfort was the mos milk tea haha. myKing mini sitting on my desk was the one that kept me going.. 有时做着做着睡着了, sometimes when i woke up and see them on my screen, I smiled.. for the happy times tt came to my mind; sometimes i quickly move the mouse and close it.. cos it clenches me inside.

felt that things had change again.. just don't feel right.. 感觉好远，好陌生..
irmmtsw(s).. and i know things will never ever be the same again.

hmm.. haven pack stuff for the trip.. haix.. not really in the mood..
then when deciding whether to go.. was thinking since moving on, just go.. perhaps a way of showing myself.. something i also dunno wad. haha.

there's no usual discussion, no usual joy of before trip packing.. perhaps am just too tired out from the hellish week.. but hiding somewhere i think i know why..but well come thursday.. will put on a smile and enjoy.. haha like mummy always say.. spend $ of coz must happy lar :P

tt time we ran away from others... this time round its still a run away for me.. perhaps from myself..

Monday, August 23, 2010

~ 10:57 PM ~

whatever crap that can happen, all happened.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

~ 12:16 AM ~

彻彻底底的崩溃
也不知道哪里来的能量让我支撑下去
这一秒，不知上一秒自己是如何熬过的

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

~ 12:48 AM ~

everything's not going right.. argh!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

~ 2:53 AM ~

Assignments never fail to make me horribly grumpy.
and at times like these it always make me question myself..
'What I'm doing?'.. sometimes i really wonder how did life become like this.. haiz.

Tml still got 2 more lessons.. =/

this morning when sleeping.. i kept thinking that I heard the phone ring..
或许自己在欺骗自己，一切其实是一场梦...

Monday, August 16, 2010

~ 7:35 AM ~

i think i can forget about 9+am. =X
11a.m will be good though.. haha
well.. think world cup period was the last time i had breakfast..
decided to walk opp. to get breakfast :) but ended up its not open yet.. even mac only opens at 0630 -_-
ended up 'shopping' in NTUC lol.
decided to walk to the other side to dabao something else..
七月别人都怕见到鬼，我却怕看到车.
lol. silly i noe. i know won't.. but well just that happen to pass by there at such a time.. mind run around abit.. lol.
kk.. 吃饱饱,睡觉lo! haha.
i seriously need to run after this assignment period. =/

越迟不睡觉，心就越常跑到过去..
当疲惫的时候，有时会把过去与现在，梦想与现实混乱..
guess i'll be having lots of dream later again.. =S

~ 5:51 AM ~

Time check: 5.47am.
I'm only half done... or less =/
groggy.. need to sleep le..
Hopefully can wake up by 9+a.m? lol.
hopefully.. =X
must more or less finish by 2359!

~ 1:33 AM ~

haix. essay and essay =/ argh! the words are just not coming..
as usual read references with the main essay still quite empty.
i can hear "just start writing la!" in my head lol.
Still hoping to more or less complete OT by 2359 on monday.. If not EG is so going to die. :(

stayed at home to do my stuff..
On the radio and it reminded me of lower sec days when I always stayed up every sem before the art exams.
I hate zhss art exams. lol. tedious preparation work.

as usual, gave myself time checkpoints while studying.
just that this time round, when its time for break.. its still.. just me. no dingdong. no ranting.. no complaining haha.

haix. 160810.. Slogging out all the assignments.
tonight, just like the same night 1 year ago, I hope it will last longer.. but its for a total diff. reason.. last yr its for the good times, tonight its for me to complete my essay! :( lol.
such a big diff from 160809.. haha. Then we've managed to escape from reality and enjoyed ourselves in fantasy for a few days.. our first (& la..? ) overseas trip :)
lol few months ago was thinking that we could plan a getaway this weekend once again.
well tt's before everything...
Aunty managed to fly away to BKK though! while i stayed at home to do my essays... :( lol.
Assignments make me Grumpy! =X

kk.. times up.. back to work..

tt's where we were at this time.. 0130h. exactly 1 year ago!
cheap cheap movie!

after staying at coffee bean where aunty said something bout '1 year later...' =P lol. another prove that 1 year many things can change?

and before we go back to hotel and do some totally crazy and silly stuff.. hahaha =P

how we wanted the night to last forever.. cos when morning come we've to get back to reality..

great memories. :)
thank you my b. :)

Thursday, August 12, 2010

~ 11:34 PM ~

晚上睡不着，早上起不来.. =/
argh. well.. actually body been tuned to wake up not very late lor.. 10+am ok right.. haha.
just tt's its still not early enough for morning lessons =X
haha. plan to screw it even more this weekend.. hopefully to finish 1 essay.. hmm.

Oh! and tml will be Friday the 13.. haha. saw a few fb status that Friday the 13 meet 中元节 lol. the ghosts and witches will party together. haha. come think of it.. like tt ar.. I shouldn't walking home from yishun this weekend in the middle of the night then haha. must go home early ya.. =P oh.. friday the 13.. be careful don't fall down ar. :P

said will live life whichever way I'm given.. coping with it not too badly i guess. haha. just happen to realise that today's another 12th of the month. 真的不知不觉.. few months pass le.. living one day at a time.. we'll soon reach the end of the year soon le haha.

"Good relations don't need any Promises, Terms or conditions.
It just needs two wonderful people. One who can trust and one who can understand."
-Pravs World
very true ya...
trust and understanding..
promises， terms, conditions.. sometimes 让大家都很无奈..
sometimes when they break, trust and understanding are what that can heal them back..

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

~ 3:39 AM ~

lol 好没用, as i type 最后一段，它还是掉了..

haha. its ok.. :)

哭过就好了痛都会走的
记忆有限所以它会淘汰坏的
失眠听歌想念虽然苦涩
还是谢谢你让我长大了
- 梁文音《哭过就好了》

~ 3:27 AM ~

090810 ended off quite well.. :)

morning dim sum was great! haha. settled my dim sum craving :)

the show was.. ok..
though didn't manage to see the front part of the parade clearly due to bad lightings.. but well can listen to the commands lar. lol.

didn't get the perfect view of the fireworks.. but its still nice though..
the pledge moment and the then the national anthem was.. haha goosebumps.. flashbacks flashbacks.. haha.

the night didn't end then.. it got better.. :)
waited for the contingents to march back.. and saw the uncles! haha.
uncles brought us into the familiar dear F1 pit.. aww.. how we miss there! lol.
and they said its NDP 09 too.. haha.
saw familiar faces in the f1 pit.. didn't manage to catch parade commander LSK though.. lol.
and.. saw Jeremy Pig too! dinner, talk cock, catch up with him. old friends like this who can always pick up where ever we last met..

when 20:10h, the pledge moment followed by the anthem.. this is one photo that flashed by.
one of my fav. photo for 090809.. though there's the bright spot at the corner.. lol.

tt's just after the pledge moment last year.. 20:22h after the city march.. under the bridge.. saluting and singing the national anthem in our full u one last time.. watching the fireworks together at the same time.. the moment we're still immersed in the high feeling of ndp.. the moment we wrote another chapter - ndp 09 in our journey.. its nothing but Great. :)

i'll also never forget the message i'm shown on the phone last year when we're back in F1 pit.. though i just "Hm", smile and nod my head, i know the trust needed to be shown the message. i'm touched/ grateful for the trust.. after tt I always thought that I've should responded more.. but haha.. i'm never good at emotions.. being the 'ok ma?' lol.

how much things change in this 1 year..

well.. tonight on the way back.. I think.. Its time.
kept giving myself 1 date after another..
tonight will be the final one. will not give myself anymore dates. no more dates.
will wash and hang up the shirt. the other one too.
以后的路，有谁在身旁就和谁一起走，左手右手会学习自己拉着自己走。 :)
虽然只要听到呼叫，我还是依然会飞到。 tt's a promise.

Monday, August 09, 2010

~ 1:43 AM ~

9 August.. National Day!

Xmas 2009 seems to be a deja vu for National Day 2010..
Everything seems to be happening again.. haiz.

After every ndp we'll wonder "明年我们会在哪里?"
We're unsure where we'll be for this year.. not sure if uncles can get us tickets.. not sure if her other things will clash..
but i've never thought that it will be a replay of Xmas 09 for me.. well.. at least not till recently..
i've even started on another NDP gift xchange haha..
though as usual.. i've not completed it.. lol =X
haiz.

last year was almost 48hrs of joy.. starting from 0808 all the way till the end of 0908..
put a whole new meaning to 'feeling each other presences' :)
today i'm stuck in the past.. went into the past messages to find something.. and got stuck there..
no matter what happen.. I'm thankful for all those memories..

i'm no longer trying to deceive myself of things that i know most likely won't happen..
just hope everything's good for them..

one of the things that got me while stuck in the past today was this 'back and fro' 1 year ago.. around this time..
to others its just a song.. to us its much more..
"deep in my heart I just know, right from start we will grow. look where we are, we've come so far, and there's still a long long way to go."
"we will get thereeee. jiayou ah! =)"
"We've struggled through, the darkest storms,we thought we couldn't tame.
Together we've tried, as we stood side by side.
I knew we'd build a new world... A world of hope for ever after."
"Believing in trust, it must, possible to overcome anything.."
"=)"

but today.. i felt..

"Remember the days, we set out together with faith?

Remember the times, so fine, when we thought that Nothing could stand in our way?
Then things weren't the same, the life that we knew had to change."

no longer know deep in my heart.. no longer standing side by side..haiz. :(

as i was looking through the old stuff.. i missed the Retards too.. haha. all those crap during the working days..
lol. and as I'm typing this.. i realised.. those i miss are Stupid (SWs) and Retards. lol.
and that reflects me haha. =/
haha but well.. tt's also why they're always dear.. afterall those who can call stupid and retard.. must be close.. not many ppl take stupid and retard as endearment.. lol :)

reminded me of a friend's status "You know that you are really good friends with someone when you can comfortably and casually discuss bowel movements."
i lol. Bowel movement only?! We can discuss it anywhere anytime.. one of the fav. topic during meals. haha. and tt's one of the more demure stuff.. lol.. and not forgetting aunty's fav. narration of golden mushroom.. haha.

haha.. after the above paragraph about 'bowel movements' ending off the post like this abit weird ar.. lol.
but well.. good nitez.. :)

0908 is more than just a National day.. its a day that held great memories..

Sunday, August 08, 2010

~ 4:06 AM ~

guess i'm going to be voiceless when i woke up later..
now it sounds horribly distorted to my own ears lol.

nights out with family.. went out with a half-peng body..
and ended with a just as bad body.. and my throat gone. =X
lol though only few of us..
mummy and crocodile ended up going elsewhere.. small fish in bali.. and the rest of the fishes didn't come..
haha ya.. i've a family of fishes didn't you guys know :P
My mummy's a shark! lol
the late night is getting to me =X haha.

Saturday, August 07, 2010

~ 12:30 AM ~

Headache, Backache, Neck ache, Throat ache, Chest ache.. haha.
just being random and trying to figure how many ache i'm having.. lol.
even sore throat becomes 'Throat ache'.. but i can't figure out wad ache can fever be.. =S
Panadol and sleep. Proj tml.. =(.
Nitez.
no more nightmares..hopefully..

Friday, August 06, 2010

~ 6:58 PM ~

argh.. horrible week..
tried attending all lessons for this week.. tiring :S
I'm thinking how did i managed to get to school early in the morning in the past.. =/

recently.. keep feeling unwell now and then.. seems to be like the 'keep falling sick period' years ago.. when i didn't finish my antibiotics. terrible period then..
not sure why i even bothered to get out of house today.. surrendered and came back early.
clearing all my tissues and strepsils and panadols =S
sleep too much all the aches seems worse.. don't sleep, the lethargic feeling comes after awhile.. haiz.
ah!!!!!!! and tml still have group project :(

been sometimes since i left the blog alone..
not been blogging cos life's just as boring..
need a break from all those emo posts..

this morning.. had a bad dream.. a very scary nightmare..
dreamt that someone sms me a bad news.. actually 'bad' is too good a word to use.. the news made me stun in the dream.. i'm in constant shock throughout..
in the dream, i can only thought of calling aunty, frantically redialling.. but she nv pick up cos its still very early.. lol. my subconscious knew that as well.
then i realised that its a dream, i 'woke' up and check my phone if there's such a sms..
only when i'm looking through the messages, i remembered that I didn't reach over for my phone!
then i woke up once again and figured out everything was just a dream..
lol must be the after effect of watching Inception..
But still.. the moment when i read the sms, and how different ppl 'told' me what had happen.. my thought process in it.. it felt so real..
When i'm finally sure that its no longer a dream, i checked my phone.. praying that there's indeed no such message.. luckily no.. lol. Silly yes.. but if its true.. i can't imagine..
though i t.a.b. it won't happen.

yesterday.. 1 more obligation down.. 1.5 more to go.

~ 6:55 PM ~

From an email..

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty,

to provide you with guidance and support,

To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,

things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson,

love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Which one are we? Possible for all 3 to be present in a relationship?
I think we're there for a reason.. they're my season.. and of course the wish for all relationship to be for a Lifetime.
Guess most of us have lots of 'Season' in life bah.. and only till the end of our life we knew who's our lifetime..

Monday, August 02, 2010

~ 2:07 PM ~

看来是我又多心了
无谓的担心是多余的..
i'm afraid.. cos this is the last thing that links us..
this is the only place we 'meet'..

not long ago, i look forward to weekends, to the end of school..
there's always something planned, even if its just studying..
these days i no longer do.. cos when it ends, i'm lost.

开学了，开学快乐wor..

i still dream that this week will have some miracle, and be perfect..
but i'm also old enough to know that dreams don't always come, in fact most of the time they don't..
just like how prayers always get answered.. just that sometimes the answer is no, and we don't listen..

haha.. this post is random.. every paragraph is a new thought. lol.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

~ 2:30 AM ~

quite a few weeks never say.. "the planes fly past and reminded me of NDP.." lol.

Today vroommm.. fly past and reminded me that today's the NDP preview le.. 1 more week and its NDP le!
national day had been nothing but joy for these few years.. and i hope that it will always be..
hmm.

went to aunty's convocation.. 毕业lo! after her 3 years of zmb, emo and mia during the exams period.. lol.
first convocation i went to.. in the past just see pple wearing the robe around in school..
lol though being there.. most of the time i also just stand at the entrance and feed mosquitoes =/
all because of 2 big wu guis! lol
by standing there i saw mazi though.. well like i told her.. "tt makes the mosquito bites more worth it a bit" =P
but well.. its being there.. and the thought that's count ba.. :)

looking at those who've graduated.. instead of feeling "i also want to grad", its the feeling of "it shows how fast we're going to get into the workforce.." not that i enjoyed my course.. i won't enjoy working as well.. =S other than not doing anything and enjoy life.. the next best choice will be to study something enjoyable and get a job along tt line.. though.. money is a big issue..
well.. if everything is ok.. next year will be my turn.. haiz. and i wonder...
tt time in SIM saw ppl who graduated.. something was said.. but such things only i remembered ba..

figured out the rest of the code tt day.. lol was having a nap when i just suddenly know wad's the front part.. and knowing that, the back was easy. lol. it doesn't make any different figuring out. just that well.. still can figure out.. on the same day, also spotted something missing, removed.
well, in fact these things had always been discuss before.. am not surprise.. but still.. seeing it still gave the heart a twist.. perhaps its the fact that if its in the past.. i'll know it before seeing it.. and not see it and figure it out..

omg.. 2+ le. tml still have to wake up very very early for ben's duty -_-"
hopefully won't roll on bed for too long =X

oh and since its 1st Aug le.. Happy Nurses' Day! haha