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Saturday, October 16, 2010
~ 10:55 PM ~
I seriously tot that the worse things that can happen these days will be horrible mugging with some emo-ness now and then.. and maybe my fever that comes and goes..
life once again show me how wrong i am..

and to show me that.. It made another thing of mine that I held so precious disappear..
yesterday when realising it gone.. i told myself 'its at home or its at school. i'll find it..'.
when i came home and can't find it.. i still tell myself 'its at school, its at school.'
that's the only way i can keep myself calm and not go crazy..
but when i went back to school today and can't find it anymore..
its just like the dam that i tried to hold everything back broke and everything hits me at the same time..
i don't know what to do anymore..
i stayed and search the whole hall thrice.. i walk around trying to spot it somewhere.. i didn't.
how i hope someone will sms to tell me 'Hey yesterday play with you, return to you the next time' and return it back to me..
but i doubt that's ever going to happen..
i can only pray that the lost and found counter call me on monday to inform me that someone found it..

2 weeks ago, i lost my necklace and pendent.
though sad.. I took it in stride.. cos i know if i ask daddy will eventually buy one for me, and i choose to believe that it's lost to 'help' me in some ways..

Today when i can't find it.. though its much cheaper in price as compared to the necklace and pendent, its value can't be measured in price.. its priceless to me..
its something that I'll never find anymore.. a new one will never meant the same..
and i can't help but think.. if i really can't find it.. if i really lost it.. is it because its never meant to be mine?

It seems that everything is leaving one by one..
perhaps its soon my turn haha. perhaps.. at least i won't be tortured to go through such agony anymore..
it hurts. its just like how i lost the tortoise the other time.. just 100x worse.. cos even then i've them by my side..

i dunno wad else i can do to get it back.. i can just pray very very hard..
but.. so much have happened.. sometimes its getting a bit hard to trust & believe in trusting and believing..
haix. but have faith is the only thing i can do.. i know no other ways..

losing almost everything that matters
with not much that really matters left..
hahahahahahahahhahahaha. damn.
with all the crap i think i'm going to be dead for this exams..

but even with my world tumbling down, when i pray so hard for my world to be alright..
i realised they'll always still be part of my prayers.. i always pray that we'll always be sasath.. no matter where, no matter what..
perhaps tt's why nothing ever comes true these days.. cos there's the saying that you can only pray for one thing at a time.. haha
but i just can't leave them out.. haha. perhaps they being alright will make my world alright bah.. lol
tml 1710.. have agrtmf..

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