and here's 311210.. last day of 2010..
on 010110.. i'll never have thought this is how things will turn and twist for this year..  i dunno what 2011 will bring but i hope and pray that its much better than 2010.. haiz.

lol. its the late night again.. late night blogging always end up very random.. one topic jumping to the other topic.. lol. nvm.. let me jump to the next topic..



wanted to go for blood donation today after work.. then remembered that i'm sick and been taking medication.. shouldn't be donating rar. haiz. didn't manage to donate one more time this year.. haiz.

showing the residents G.I Joes for this week.. G.I. Joes.. a movie i don't really remember what was the story like till I watch it again.. but I can remember everything before and after the movie.. the great memories.. haha. esp. after the movie.. the crazy stuff we did back in the hotel.. haha.

2010 ending le.. i think its time to mark a closure for myself..
人改变不了改变不了的事情.. 记得要忘记忘记, 我提醒自己..
not to forget the past memories we had.. but to forget the hope for the plans we had made for the future..
不回不容易， 我有一辈子， 足够用来忘记..

last year i still message.. cos there's still the hope that miracles will happen..
this time round.. things slightly change.. months had passed.. if things will to happen, it should already have ba.. lol.

the line is drawn, the message is clear.. i've tried.. i've failed.. will not be the bugger haha.
i guess its really me lar.. guess if i'm not around things will be alright ba.. haiz. i did everything wrongly..

till the day i'm waiting for.. comes ba (if it ever comes).. till then..

this new year eve's felt like 2007's emptiness combine with bits of 2009's emoness..but not as emo as last year.. lol. well but that's the feeling for now.. shall wait till tonight to have the 'final verdict' haha.

Looking forward to the Firework moments.. the POM POM POM! to clear everything..

ARGH! i miss.. shucks.. i think the emoness is coming =/
shall just sleep before things starts running and keep me awake..
oh speaking of running.. cham lar! have not run since scm.. haha.
random random.. so that i'll not think too much.. haha.
Hopefully can do a proper one before 2010 end.

argh! been lying in bed and coughing and coughing.. i want to sleep! :(
haix.. can't sleep = emo..

its been a great night tonight.. but.. i just like to dig deeper to see the flaws and made myself miserable eventually ba..

nvm. brain too tired to function longer.. guess and hope i'll be sleeping soon.. tml then blog ba.. :)

Oh! nearly forget that today 271210 is MyPrince 2nd Birthday!!
Happy Birthday to my dear Boy! hahaaha.
to know who's MyPrince please refer to 271209 entry :P

tired tired to blog.. if not for myPrince, i won't be here haha.
yet to replenish the sleep lost from yesterday chalet and then waking up so early this morning..

today was communicating with hand signals and others have to understand me through lip reading lol. =/ voiceless! =/

Saturday got better.. then yesterday corp chalet bbq.. and then it went all the way down.. now its so horrible that i can only force voice out loud or whisper with the wind.. lol. speaking this way is super duper tiring.. chest pain from trying to force the voice out.. and now keep coughing.. argh.

but well.. all the xmas celebrations came and ended.. so time to take care of my throat and hopefully recover soon.. this weekend at pasir ris area for chalet.. so many thoughts.. haha.
oh well~ 2 years le! time flies..

oh today drag myself to work hoping to see the eeyore mascot.. in the end i'm disappointed.. :( cos instead of the eeyore they brought the tigger.. and well.. the tigger mascot was quite cute.. but then.. its tigger la..

lol. this entry is random.. it doesn't flow at all.. lol.
proved that i'm tired lar..
good nitez!

i need to keep moving forward.. cos the past keep pulling me back..
but the truth is.. i don't want the past to be gone..

Merry Christmas! :)
well well.. truthfully speaking.. Merry still didn't come along with my Christmas this year.. but I've learned to deal with it.. and be happy with what I have.. :)

last year this period of time was.. horrible. emo. miserable.
perhaps.. as time passed i've learned.. 7 months going 8 for me to learn..
guess i'm there's still emo-ness in me.. but i've also learned to push it aside to enjoy myself with what i have..

a simple simple wish i've made..
s.a.s.a.t.h.. may one day we'll bbfa.. i'll just let Almighty up there lead us..
May what's meant to be, be kind for us..

haha bo liao me went to read the decemeber entries for the past few years.. truthfully i can't remember much of it.. only the last 2 years.. 2008 will always be the best Christmas I remembered.. and 09 will be the worst Xmas.. well.. till one day something 'big' happen and change it..
haha well well.. who knows how many more Christmas I'll have anyway haha.

well.. let's get back to present.. :) my voice is Sexy! haha. expected when i'm still eating bbq food with my horrible condition.. lol. can't feel my throat anymore =/ and more bbq on sunday =/ haha. but die die i'll go to work on monday! cos there'll be xmas party with the residents and there's a eeyore mascot that i want to take photo with! haha.

oh! and the xmas gift for them.. its still less than half done? =/ so hard! argh. haha.
dunno when i'll ever complete it.. by the time i've completed it.. i wonder if i will ever give it to them.. lol.
perhaps it will be another of those ungiven gifts..

time for bed.. :) Good nitez!

its time like this that i know.. they'll always be special no matter what.. 

i've learned to let go, i've learned to move on.. but i've never given up, i'll always be there

sasath my dearest bestest 2.. triplets don't come in 1 nor 2.. they come 3s..

231210.. who remember what they're supposed to be doing 1 year ago..
well.. we're supposed to be meeting for monthly sakae xingfu but we never did..
1 year le.. we no longer have monthly xingfu..
1 year le.. we went one big round and things ended up the same way.. perhaps even worse..
haiz.

well well.. i said i'll move on.. so yup. let's stay in the present.
today was not such a great day.. =/
today's routine = sleep, wake up, eat, take medication, sleep.
feels better than yesterday night but still bad.. argh.
head still heavy, nose still block, body still aching..
oh well..

its the middle of the week again.. my '周记'is overdue again.. Haha

too many things to blog it down to keep the memories..
too many things to get off the mind.. cos its the december xmas week..

and now body wants to go on strike.. argh.. panadols.. please work wonder.. :/

zzz.. drowsines kicking in.. shall faster get off before i type nonsense lol.

time check 3.30.. realised i fell asleep while trying to load the post..
now body auto wake up for another dose of medications..
argh.. horrible.. :/

argh i gave up trying to back track stuff..

the half done entry will just remain as a draft for my own memories..
won't matter much to others anyway..

just have a summary ba.. haha.
Friday - USS After Hours with the SIM clique..
Sat - no more course.. a break.. but its still sj afterall..
Sun - fly kites with the kids @ barrage.. and back to barrage reminded me of 42.. and it felt so long ago..

well that's where I've stopped for the previous entry.. with more elaboration which.. doesn't matter haha.

through the days.. they're a constant as i go through the events..
somehow.. they kept running around since December started..
i guess its the 'December' syndrome ba..
cos last year this time.. haiz.

nvm.. t.a.b.
i'm tired to blog more..
work is starting to have its impact on me.. not going smooth these days..
guess its part of working in the environment and have to get use to it eventually..

its going to be a long long tired weekend ahead..

ah!! haha. i think blogging is becoming like writing weekly reflection/ diary (周记）last time in school haha.

i've got an entry still in draft since sunday.. and its still less than half done haha. horrible =/
many many things to do.. and guess by the time i update finally there'll be another lots of stuff to blog about.. haha.

so why i'm blogging? cos this tab for the blog had been open since i on the com again tonight haha.
well well.. and cos.. today i keep having a feeling.. a feeling that seems good but yet making me uneasy..

i just hope and pray that everything's good..
we'll all be blessed i believe.. :)

just when i was thinking '谢谢你让我长大了' with '哭过就好了' replaying in my mind tonight..

i'm given a reality check again.. oh well..
just another thing that will come and go ba..

hong.. keep the promise you gave yourself k..
bsh..

well well.. the p.u.s.h week's OVER! haha.
a tiring week.. a week with ups and downs..
but i'm thankful for being blessed..
though its not the best things that i could have.. i'm contended.. :)

so let me have a quick recap of the stuff that happens after the last entry.. haha.
got my results.. one of the worse as compared to the last few sems.. but fortunately still managed to scrap through all.. I'm thankful for that.. afterall I just pray to clear successfully.. another 30 days to clear haha.

friday night.. a crazy overnight meeting.. few days before scm.. staying overnight.. such a familiar scene replay..
and waking up for course with little sleep.. was so familiar too.. hmm. haha.

for horror 42.. i prayed that i'll survive through it.. i prayed that i won't be running a race alone mentally and physically.. i'm not sure how would it be possible before sat.. cos i doubt i'll receive any calls before the run..

On sat morning.. i started to see some glimpse of what's to happen..
during course Wilson was busy 'selling/ giving away' his FM slot.. he was set to give it to aunty when i said she didn't manage to reg. before it closed due to the overwhelming participants.. haha.
but 42 is a horror.. pushing someone who don't want to do it to go for it was.. hmm. guilty? lol just won't feel good esp. eventually when things turn tough and argh! and will feel all the 杀气 around.. haha.
nope i didn't push no matter how much i hope for..
As Wilson asked around.. Lishi was the only one who said 'I don't mind' lol and that was almost as good as a 'Yes' and Wilson was quick in 'Hi^5-ing' her to 'close the deal' if Candy don't want to go haha.
so.. that's how i'm blessed with a 42k horror underage Companion! haha.

for the actual 42km horror..
with the 2 hrs sleep before on friday night.. got another 3 hrs on sat.. and off i go..
this year's SCM was a different race.. other than the fact that i'm no longer running with 2 sws.. its a different route.. a different starting point..
started at orchard unlike most runs which started around marina area.. not a bad route for the first half.. all the way to ECP. and by the time we're entering ECP, 12k's down.. that's a good thing haha. ECP's route was slightly different too.. the first half was not too bad too.. but once hitting 20+ k, hmm.. tt's when the motivation started depleting.. haha. Lishi runs fast.. not too bad for the first 12k where she pushed me to keep on going.. ran a very good 10k with not much stopping.. even water points are just 'take, drink, run' haha. but checking the timing.. seems not much faster as compared to my nike 10 where i've walked more haha.

oh I forgot to mention that we started very late =/ haha. not our fault though lol. the bag deposit was a mess.. no proper signage around orchard area, volunteers who were not very sure.. ended walking about 1k plus even before we start the race.. by the time we deposit our bags its already 30+ mins after the gun start time despite reaching quite early.. the MC was even chasing pple to faster go pass the starting line cos they're closing down the start point in few minutes time.. and the timing will no longer works.

oh let's continue back on the ECP route.. was onto the walk 1k run 2k plan.. it lasted for about 10k? since running into ECP was about 12k and the last aim to run was at the 22k.. though i've to run/walk till 25k till i catch up with lishi haha. yup was playing 'catching' with lishi.. lol.. she's even faster than aunty haha. or maybe more evil than aunty.. haha.

somewhere 18/19k saw sw and uncle edmund..
awkward awkward.. or perhaps its just me... just dunno how to 'handle' such situation..
lol.. i can just imagine aunty saying 'you lousy de lar!' lol. 
but the fact that i didn't receive any replies in the morning.. was an obvious sign le ba..
after saying 'hi'.. the awkward silence.. so many thoughts but dunno what to do.. lol.. not sure to run or to lag behind or to continue the journey together..
lishi helped me to decide though.. haha.
once she started running.. off she goes ahead again.. haha.
so.. well.. decided to chase after her ba.. haha.
i'm just another person who passed by them.. 路人甲...
and knowing uncle and sw had each other's support to get through.. i know that i got to run my own race..
cos.. this race is no longer the same race that we run together.. in this race, we're no longer we're each other's supporter.. haiz.. :(

after passing them.. everytime we stopped for stretching.. can't help but look back trying to catch a glimpse of them.. to know that they're still doing good..
haha in actual fact.. even when walking.. there's always the temptation to turn back to see if they're just behind.. haha. 
but yet at the same time hoping not to meet again.. cos it will be another awkward moment..
haha ya.. 矛盾.. lol.
around the marina garden saw the pain and the limp when we met once again.. 默默地喊
'jiayou jiayou sw'.. cheered for them silently.. and hope the legs won't be too bad..
along the way.. now and then scenes from the past hopped into my mind.. they all brought smiles.. and get me going.. the great past memories.. :)

well.. let's get back to the route ba.. after ecp this year, instead of the usual route, the route brought us to a 'construction site' as described by many online.. haha. its the construction for MCE.. an expressway linking ECP and KPE..
the horror its not that its a construction site though.. the horror is the fact that the sun's on Full Blast and there's no shades around as there's almost totally no trees by the road side.. but the worse is yet to come.. a whole stretch of horror awaits us..

Mr. Sun was very hardworking as one of my friend's facebook status stated that day.. haha. ya so hardworking trying to BBQ all the poor stand chart runners.. =/ and this year's route had even lesser shady areas than the previous years.. walking out of MCE construction after walking around the golf course, we walked past the Marina gardens and eventually Marina Barrage.. all without shelter till we reached barrage.. was telling lishi.. I'm going to hate barrage! lol. there's not much shelter around! any picnic session will most prob be more like a BBQ session! haha.

and then walking out of barrage is another long stretch out.. at least there's some trees along the way.. some relief from the super duper hot sun.. when the weather is so damn hot, with and without shade, you'll feel grat different.. lol. but the shade don't last long.. infact its super short.. and what lies ahead is not only the sun but the horrifying Super Steep Slope! the killer slope.. with not trees or shade of any sort by the side.. the motivation to get me moving was 'the faster i walked, the faster i'll get out of the sun!' lol. its really a bad route.. esp. for the slower runners who will be conquering the slope at 12+pm... and there's no water point around.. saw quite a no. of casualties along that stretch..

but by the time i reached the end of the up and eventually down slope, my left knee seems to be giving way.. argh! pain.. tried some stretching and stuff and tried limping to get going.. eventually after a few steps, felt the knee shifted back into position and could moved abit better than before though the pain was still horrible.. =/
of the 2 legs, left leg was the one with the most problems this year.. expected left ankle to be horrible.. instead its still manageable.. left foot's arch was the painful part with each step taken.. but well.. i've lived with a bad ankle through this year.. so its still bearable.. but left knee was the one will lots of problem.. even after the run.. left knee was the one that 'killed' me.. haha.. problems moving around with the knee that's =/ perhaps the side effect of the ankle..

*side note* omg! its my third night updating this.. hopefully i don't fell asleep before finishing this post tonight haha.*let's continue*

well eventually got back to the f1 pit where's finally some shade! one of the impt thing i've learnt that day was.. shade and no shade made a HUGE! diff when the sun is blasting like nobody business.. lol the remaining distance was not too bad with the shade haha. and eventually reached the finishing line! :)

but then.. when we finally arrive to collect the finisher tee and medals, the volunteers were shouting 'smallest size XL!' !?! even previous years we still got M? and wad's worse was that ppl was complaining that 10k, HM runners collected the finisher tees as well.. and worst of all was that volunteers took the tee shirts and kept for themselves! -_- wearing a finisher tee without running a 42.. these shows that lots of pple out there don't really need the pride to wear the shirt.. hiak.

well fortunately large no. of pple complain and stand chart's looking into the finisher tee matter by the time i'm typing this lol. hopefully can make a change ba!

the race didn't end at Padang though.. after walking 1k in the morning to deposit the bags.. there's another 2k to walk all the way back to F1 pit to collect the bags.. -_- chui-ed. still remembered how we're totally seh after 42 in 08.. think if we got bags deposit there then.. we might just leave it there le haha. this year still managed to walk and collect the bags.. lol. but then.. i ended up leaving my race tag there argh! haiz.

well that almost ended the journey for 051210.. SCM 2010.. a race like no others.. indeed.

these numbers meant so much.. yet meant nothing..
its still my race.. though not alone.. its still a personal battle.. mentally and physically..

lol. Finally ending this entry! every night struggle to type something.. hopefully it made some sense.. haha. nitez.

super duper tired.. lol. nothing new..

301110 came and left.. like any other day..
no expectation, no disappointment..
but well.. emo-ness can't be helped lol.
get others out to watch movie, to be out, not home alone..
but well.. how Harry Potter, Ron and Hermione stick together.. still managed to push some buttons lol.
"Such a beautiful place to be with friends"
- Dobby the free elf

though didn't expect anything.. but i thought.. a reply for that at least.. i thought..
but well.. guess I'm wrong once again haha.
没事.. its ok..  :)
actually wanted to email something.. but well.. since.. and was home very late.. didn't.
well just another thing done but not given.. haha.

came home and collapsed.. eyes drooping right now as well.. can't remember things that ran through previously.. perhaps its a good thing ba..

not feeling well these days.. but doubt there'll be much time to rest too.. haiz.
nights.

lol. with a half asleep brain and eyes, i think the things here will make no sense tml haha.
haiz.. lol. will do the touch up tml ba haha.
night!