oh ya.. good things did happen yesterday though.. :)
blessed. questions spot on.. hopefully will be alright.. haha.
2 more papers to pray for..

ARGH!!! I the midst of all this mugging.. totally forget that tomorrow is tri! and I dunno how again.. :/
no one will be home.. and things have not been good.. more signs to tell me don't go.. BUT! truly these reasons are not impt.. its really dependent on me i guess.. to take the rational way and listen or just go do what I want.. haiz. but its really a waste if I don't go.. already miss dual and then this as well? but then again there's the next 2 papers..

argh. should have just continue to 'forget' about the tri lar! won't be so troubled then.. :/ haiz.
i felt stupid to worry about this.. cos in the past I'll just go..
and i know what it means to not going again this time round..
but other things now matter too..
shall see..

argh! can't seems to keep the things I trying to memorise stay in mind..
what goes in, what comes out. Mind seems to be blank..

do what I can, and just leave the rest to Almighty up there le.. l0l.
Can't memorise things as well as many ppl out there.. what I can do is read more times than others.. lol. last time always say de..

read over and over again and hope it will be remembered by my subconscious and flow out in the exams hall later haha.

haiz. Jiayou ba! :/

one more chapter.. one more chapter before sleeping hong!
lol. i'm going crazy talking to myself today.. :/
oh well. blog's here for me to flood.. don't flood other's on facebook/twitter lol.
jiayou ba!

又对自己不好了.. lol.
giddy.. :/ time for breakfast..

a nice simple message before sleeping this morning.. not often wor.. haha. that's how easily i smile. lol. but ar.. sometimes also 鸡蛋里挑骨头, have to remind self gotta 知足常乐ya. lol.
its the thought that counts :)

reminded myself once again tonight..

well.. study study hong! another 1 day countdown to the next paper.. :/

first paper today.. though not a killer but not that simple too.. everyone seems quite confident which makes me more worry for moderation.. pray hard everything will be alright..

1 paper down and i'm resting like its the end of exams.. :/ time to get work done again.. next hurdle in 2 days time.. haiz.

yesterday.. morale was low low.. itchy hand go check portal for any updates.. result for SO was out. Freaking screwed up. first screwed up paper for assignment.. wonder was it due to that.. shall see when i got it back next time.. gotta work triply hard for the paper then..

i'm seriously afraid for this sem.. haiz. last sem.. well.. i always tell pple "last sem.. if everything went well".. hope it will go well ba.. Must clear it! too many consequences if i don't..

this morning when preparing to go out.. saw blinking message light on my phone and a thought flew by.. haha. i knew it won't be anything but everytime before exams seeing a notification light on the phone will always make me think of it.. those messages though its just a simple 'good luck' always meant a lot..

came out of the exam hall cold hungry tired. lol. rush to have lunch at the new wing. they got Soupalicious now! well not much chances for us to go there lol. (I don't want the chance too :S)was focusing on food and bed at home and ended up forgetting to return the long overdue library book.. argh. but well I'm not the only one haha. Finally when reach home on bed.. knock out and the next moment its night time le.. :/ 老了ar! haha.

i guess i must be really tired on bed to have send it.. haha. normally will just type and delete.. i didn't meant to bug.. hope i didn't..

hmm well.. just hope everything's going good for all..
need all the strength and luck to go through this myself.. trust and believe that will be blessed once more ya! haha. hug buddha leg and must go bai bai le lol.

more pains.. more unknown popping up.. hope these will be alright too..

ARGH!!!! haiz.
was looking at my notes and somehow i said "读书好痛苦啊!" then i paused.. and i think.. "why this sound so familiar" though i seldom said that.. then i remembered.. lol. sw always said that last time. =/

oh well.. still gotta study.. and i know i'll come to miss it eventually.. lol. its always like that..

i always sees things.. things that i'll be better not seeing.. and the best thing i can do will be to ignore it.. just let it be ba.. i can't do anything anyway.

focus on the notes infront of me ba! :)

原来一切从来都不代表什么...

哄着自己 "one more page hong! one more page.."
tough tough.. really hope this is the last sem..
jiayou ba! :)

everyone's dealing with a tough life.. its just a matter of who can bear with it and make the best out of things. :)

i dunno their stories anymore..
not even for.. no longer talk like before.. its mostly just talk cock sing song with the rest these days.. haha.
was finding a doc in the old com, and saw some convo from long ago.. haha those days..
give me a htht with them, i'll choose it over any talk cock sing song.. lol.
well hope their stories are on a good chapter these days.. jiayou too mb2..

that day found another symptom.. hmm.. till the day i dare to do it..
just pray hard now ba.

well back to studies! notes staring at me lol.
last lap. don't regret. jiayou!

for some reason.. tonight is a freaking hard night..
read a few lines and mind will wonder off..

i miss the first 3 sems.. when even studying was not happy.. haha not really then.. but looking back.. they were great.. lol.
回忆果然是个可怕的东西..

Great day today.. :)

well if want to say.. "if only.." perhaps things won't seems to be that great.. but reality is that 'what we have are what we get.. no "if only.."' so yup today was a great day! :)

morning 2xu run.. chui. haha. 12k seems like 20 over km. lol. though my gps detected 13k.. with lots of zigzags along my route.. lol. guess i'm walking like snake ya. haha.
this run was the first running race for the year and only the 2nd run i did this year.. well excluding those from aqualathon then.. haha. was having problems by the 3k.. :/ that time nike 10k was so much better.. only having some problems after 8k or so.. lol. its like back to the first ever run i did back in 08.. just that then i'm not alone..
and alone the run i was thinking.. "life works in amazing way indeed.. last time i see those runs/tri races, though interested i never had the courage to join till jio-ed along for my first triathlon.. lol. was not very 熟 and when every they all fly kite, i nearly back up then.. good thing i did not..
and after the first, then we started going for all those runs and races.. they were great memories.. everyone of them.. i'm forever grateful for having them.
and now.. when everything changes.. having the experiences of these races , knowing that its possible to be accomplished and not that scary.. i continue going for it.. and now its my turn to jio people along.. and hope that they enjoyed it like i do.. and will be valuable memories for them too..
and at times when no one wanted to go.. even alone.. i know, its possible.. like we always say.. 'anyone can do it, its just a matter if they want to or not (can do it slowly like us lol)' a challenge to myself to keep going.."
thank you for giving me the courage to run these race alone these days..
haha 谢谢你让我长大了 played in my mind.. lol.

well.. carrot cake breakfast back home, and its study time then release of results. don't really bother us actually :/ indeed good comparison to see the diff of 有做工 and 没做工 though. lol.

everyone with an empty stomach went to spam shabu shabu! hehe. nice nice. full full. after missing the shabu session with the uni clique that time, finally tried it le.. haha. first mouth of the sukiyaki soup base.. reminded of.... those days. haha ya.. still too sweet for me la.. lol. the kimchi was nice though.

ok i'm ranting randomly.. after a totally packed day. haha.
Night world. :)

hmm.. not been blogging much these days .. well in fact i've not been doing much of anything these days. totally nua.. seriously need to focus on my studies.. few more weeks.. haiz.

well.. nothing much happened these days.. missed the race.. enjoyed the morning with family.. my 2 boys made the day.. :) saw that its a good race.. next time..
afternoon was looking at the com.. just a bystander, perhaps some moral support.. but well.. mainly a nobody this year. haha.
as a bystander, we can provide guidance and advices, help to facilitate but eventually how the trainers want to get things done.. its hard to chap..
well.. the mentality, the standard, 有 train, 没 train.. its indeed obvious haha.

another one this sunday.. most prob be studying.. time's seriously running out.. seriously need to get into the momentum soon.. :/
and speaking of momentum.. also need the momentum to start running.. nuaing everyday is putting all the unnecessary fats on me.. :X haha.
this sunday another run.. think i'm going to be totally chui from it.. haha. bless me lol.

totally random post.. just like how life is these days..
feel myself 'running around'.. random.. nonchalant attitude towards everything.. cos things don't hurt this way.. but of course nothing much bring joy this way too.. haha. that the irony of life.. for joy and happiness, pain and hurt needs to exist..

其实， 不在乎剩下的一切.. its just there to distract myself from the important stuff missing.. and when those important missing stuff are present.. nothing else matters actually.. 只要有他们， 剩下的都不重要..

night.. the next entry will perhaps be 1 week later.. or not..

its going to be a long entry..

i've been running away too much.. time to get some things out.. things are overflowing..

last week.. ya exactly one week.. so many things happened.. home, sj, school
things like fac, end of lessons..
small things like bro early return to S'pore due to earthquake..
big things too..

i seriously don't like hospital.. not the smell of it, nor the generally sick feeling there.. but the hypocrisy of the exchange among most visitors and patients.. making small talks.. being extremely polite and stuff..
perhaps its just me though.. just don't understand why they can't just talk as normal.. won't the patient prefer that too? well perhaps i do the small talks as well just that i didn't realise..

healthy heart rate, healthy blood pressure, frequent checkups yet things happen.. life's never really fair..
well.. unhealthy people like me.. who don't even dare to do any checks.. may god bless me. lol.
thank god that everything is good for now, and may it be good for many years to come..

when things don't go right.. 特别希望一切都没变, 我们还很好.. but i also always know that its quite impossible.. guess this stretch of the road is meant to be alone..

going on with life with a smile.. making plans with friends like there's forever..
but sometimes.. now and then.. 还是会累.. but once stop.. all the horrible feeling will come in.. like now.. lol.

actually tonight had been a good night.. today had been not a bad day as a whole.. down to zhss.. seeing the kids will never be too bad.. though there's some headache and heartaches.. i'm always thankful that zhsj has always been a second family where we can go back to.. especially these few years.. :)

but well.. tonight ended not so good.. and things just continue to tumble down..
haiz. somehow when i thought things are good.. it'll stop.. and i'll be telling myself.. 'trust and believe' perhaps this.. perhaps that.. then some facts come along.. and i'll still think 't.a.b.' well.. its always been this way.. and i guess it will always be this way..

today someone told me 'i'm not so thick skin..' and i told him.. i know.. but that's how it will be.. haha. but will never get use to it.. will always feel somethings.. lesser and lesser over time but never gone.. lol somehow i'm suddenly thinking of a log graph or issit an exponential graph.. haha cranky mind early in the morning..

haiz. things beyond my control, i can only accept it..

well.. there's also things within control.. and we gotta make a decision.. sunday will be giving the race a miss.. at times like this.. family comes first.. perhaps last time i'll easily just go for the race.. or maybe next time in future i'll make such a choice too.. but with all the stuff recently, the decision is simple.. though been looking fwd to run and cycle.. haha. perhaps god's way of telling me not to race.. afterall he tried to stop me with duties, competitions and failed.. so guess he had to bring up family lol.

oh ya today aunty's 1 year '大难不是必有后福!' lol. then remembered last year 2/4/10 was mock com for fac.. back track my own april entries.. lol that's an emo month last year too..
saw all the exams emo posts as well.. oh man.. those days are going to be here once again very soon :[
also saw my s.t.h. to them and myself..
not been keeping to it myself these days.. been missing the 't'.
gotta start to s.t.h.! :)

kk.. time to sleep.. its really morning le.. haha. nights.