i've been running away too much.. time to get some things out.. things are overflowing..
last week.. ya exactly one week.. so many things happened.. home, sj, school things like fac, end of lessons.. small things like bro early return to S'pore due to earthquake.. big things too..
i seriously don't like hospital.. not the smell of it, nor the generally sick feeling there.. but the hypocrisy of the exchange among most visitors and patients.. making small talks.. being extremely polite and stuff.. perhaps its just me though.. just don't understand why they can't just talk as normal.. won't the patient prefer that too? well perhaps i do the small talks as well just that i didn't realise..
healthy heart rate, healthy blood pressure, frequent checkups yet things happen.. life's never really fair.. well.. unhealthy people like me.. who don't even dare to do any checks.. may god bless me. lol. thank god that everything is good for now, and may it be good for many years to come..
when things don't go right.. 特别希望一切都没变, 我们还很好.. but i also always know that its quite impossible.. guess this stretch of the road is meant to be alone..
going on with life with a smile.. making plans with friends like there's forever.. but sometimes.. now and then.. 还是会累.. but once stop.. all the horrible feeling will come in.. like now.. lol.
actually tonight had been a good night.. today had been not a bad day as a whole.. down to zhss.. seeing the kids will never be too bad.. though there's some headache and heartaches.. i'm always thankful that zhsj has always been a second family where we can go back to.. especially these few years.. :)
but well.. tonight ended not so good.. and things just continue to tumble down.. haiz. somehow when i thought things are good.. it'll stop.. and i'll be telling myself.. 'trust and believe' perhaps this.. perhaps that.. then some facts come along.. and i'll still think 't.a.b.' well.. its always been this way.. and i guess it will always be this way..
today someone told me 'i'm not so thick skin..' and i told him.. i know.. but that's how it will be.. haha. but will never get use to it.. will always feel somethings.. lesser and lesser over time but never gone.. lol somehow i'm suddenly thinking of a log graph or issit an exponential graph.. haha cranky mind early in the morning..
haiz. things beyond my control, i can only accept it..
well.. there's also things within control.. and we gotta make a decision.. sunday will be giving the race a miss.. at times like this.. family comes first.. perhaps last time i'll easily just go for the race.. or maybe next time in future i'll make such a choice too.. but with all the stuff recently, the decision is simple.. though been looking fwd to run and cycle.. haha. perhaps god's way of telling me not to race.. afterall he tried to stop me with duties, competitions and failed.. so guess he had to bring up family lol.
oh ya today aunty's 1 year '大难不是必有后福!' lol. then remembered last year 2/4/10 was mock com for fac.. back track my own april entries.. lol that's an emo month last year too.. saw all the exams emo posts as well.. oh man.. those days are going to be here once again very soon :[ also saw my s.t.h. to them and myself.. not been keeping to it myself these days.. been missing the 't'. gotta start to s.t.h.! :)
kk.. time to sleep.. its really morning le.. haha. nights.
